


Exercises in Trust

by acevolkner



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: But Not Much, F/F, Femslash, Romance, Slow-ish Burn?, Some angst, Well as much as is appropriate for losing your husband and infant son, eventually, i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-19 05:10:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 30,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5954790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acevolkner/pseuds/acevolkner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's only one person you can count on in life. And even then they can be a bit shite. But Cait's trying, with a little help from the rag tag reprobates she comes to think of as her friends. A Journey through Cait and the Sole Survivor's burgeoning relationship, as they learn to find their own place in Post Apocalyptia.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This started off as a one shot and then grew arms and legs galore. So ja.
> 
> It's better than it sounds, honest.

She ducked left, cursing as the giant fist grazed her cheek. At least it was blatantly telegraphed. Normally she would be laughing. But she was getting sloppy, sluggish. Surely it hadn't been that long since her last hit of Psycho. She could swear the time between come downs was getting shorter, but then, of late, time was becoming an increasingly abstract concept to her, a gloopy haze only interspersed by chem-tinted moments of furious clarity.

"Crush him!"

"Break her bones!"

"Snap his skull in two!"

"Waste that bitch!"

With a jolt, Cait dropped, swinging out her foot and taking her opponent (Krusher? Krunker? Ham fisted Bastard?) down with a almighty thud. The chorus of drunken yells at least served to pull her out of her stupor, narrowly avoiding her skull being Krushed  - _Oh. That would explain the name, then-_ into a fine powder.

The man mountain collapsed with a thundering clatter. Seizing the advantage while she had it, Cait pounced on the man, going to town on the poor sod's head as the crowd behind her went wild.

" _And that, ladies and gentlemen is why Cait is our absolute, undisputed Champion! And who's this? A new chall- no wait, seriously who the hell is that?"_

The glare from the stage light left Cait blind to the audience below her but she could hear the several moments of confusion as the Raider's caught on to Tommy's tone. An eerie silence echoed around the auditorium.

And then the ruckus started.

Mere seconds after gunfire erupted, Cait couldn't help but flinch at the wave of heat blasting over her. _Of course. With their fucking Molotov's._ Shaking her head at the logic of firebombs in a decidedly non-fire retardant theatre, Cait paid no heed as Tommy rattled opened the door to her cage, bolting to cower behind her. _Candy arsed shiter that he is. Oh well, fair enough, I'll wait for this fucker to come in here an' I'll fight them an' all._

She had to do a double take at the angry barks that joined the fracas.  She snorted. _Fucker's got a dog? Ha! And with puttin' these bastards out of their misery, I'm liking this guy more an' more._

Slowly, the sounds of fighting died down. Cait stood, arms crossed and leaning heavily on one leg, waiting for this mysterious stranger to reveal themselves. Despite her outward nonchalance, Cait couldn't help but note the flutter in her stomach. _If this goes south, I could have an actual fuckin' fight on me hands._ A morbid glee fluttered through her. _This could go either way. This might actually be fuckin' it._

It was then she noted the theatre had finally gone silent, save for the low rustle of this stranger rifling through what passed for pockets on raider gear. _Practical. Loot what you need. None of this namby pamby lay them to rest shite. 'Nother tick in the win column._

"Hey!" Tommy's gravelled tones yelled out. He spoke with a lot of balls considering he was still quaking behind her. "You done out there? We don't want any trouble!" _Speak for yourself._ She gave him a not so gentle kick, huffing in frustration at the man.

"Get yer head up, ya damn coward."

"Hey, you kiddin'? I'm too pretty to go out like this."

Cait's venomous retort died on her tongue as the Stranger stepped through the cage and into the light.

 _Jesus Fuckin' Christ._ This was _not_ what she had expected. The woman who stood before them looked thoroughly fucked.  _And not in the good way._ Covered in dirt and blood, Cait noted most of it didn't appear to be hers, thankfully. She only saw one visible wound on the woman, a jagged slice contouring her left cheek and framed with bedraggled hair that had certainly seen better days. More than that however, she simply look so _fucking_ exhausted. the bags under her eyes were as bright as bruises, not at all helped by her pallid colour and light sheen of sickly sweat coating her brow. _She looks like-_

"Shit. What in God's name happened to you!?"  Tommy exclaimed, finishing her thought for her. The stranger boggled at the Ghoul for a second, before wearily shaking her dismissively.

"Radiation sickness." She croaked. "I think I'm finally getting over it, though." A flippant shrug "Or it's killing me. One or the other."

"Alright, well," Tommy gave a dismissive sniff before turning his eye to the devastation dotted around the theatre. "Could'a gone worse, I guess. _Not by much_ , but worse."

"Oh I dunno," Cait leered, tilting her head to address him, never letting her eyes waver from trailing up the Woman's  form, "Seemed _quite_ the performance from where I'm standin'."

The woman wasn't bad, she had to admit. Near perfect proportions that were rare in the Common Wealth, a full set of teeth and, save from a little pudge around the waist (although that likely wasn't helped by that skin tight blue jumpsuit she was wearin'.  _Definitely a Vaultie, then_ ) the stranger looked like she could scrub up good. _And that rack? Christ. Could bounce a cap off them._ Cait allowed herself a smirk, making sure to tug her lip between her teeth as the Vaultie fidgeted, noticing she was under Cait's lascivious scrutiny.

The Vaultie was saved further inspection as Tommy made to stand, dusting himself off with an air of haughtiness that suggested he _hadn't_ been filling his pants with shite mere minutes ago.

" _What_ , Little Bird?" Tommy snapped at her. "Quite the perfor-? _Ugh,_ are you fuckin' high or somethin'? God who am I kiddin'? Of course you are."

Cait responded with a derisive snort, finally turning to the man. "Still winnin' fights, ain't I?"

"Barely. Strung out and sloppy is what you are. That last fight could've gone either way, _and you know it."_ He gave a petulant huff. "Not that we have to worry about that now, thanks to _this one,"_  he jutted his chin at the Vaultie, "for puttin' us outta business. Honestly I'm not sure if I should kiss you or have my li'l birdy-" Cait spat down on the floor in anger at the name "-here feed you your own entrails."

Before the pair could start bickering, the Vaultie spoke up, gazing around the theatre, equal parts perplexed and horrified.

"What _happened_ here? I don't think it was even this bad during Priscilla Queen of the Desert." Her nose wrinkled even as Tommy puffed up his chest, proud to present his baby.

"Not from around here, huh?" He motioned around dramatically, arms flung wide. " _This is the Combat Zone!_ The finest arena in the Common Wealth." He gave one of those creepy fuckin' grins that always made Cait's skin crawl. "Cait here is our headliner! Hundred plus matches with no defeats!" He deflated a little. "We used to serve a more legitimate clientele until about two years ago; Raiders rolled up and we became a more... _exclusive_ establishment." Some of the venom in his tone returned. "'Course, that was until _you_ took our entire client base outta the gene pool and put us out of business, that is."

"I'm... sorry?" The Vaultie offered in a tone that indicated she was not at all sorry. Cait smirked. _This broad might just be alright._ "But how does that put you out of business?"

"Sheesh . Not the _entrepreneurial_ type are ya? Keeping those idiots entertained is what kept us in caps. Now what're we gonna do?"

"Fuck 'em," Cait snorted. "More will come. Just give me a breather and I'm good to go-"

"Breather!?" Tommy squawked. "For what!? To slam more junk in your arm? No." He paused for a second, the disgust on his face melting into a smug triumph. "No, you know what? _This_ was a blessing in disguise. Hey, you there, you saw the end of Cait's performance there. What d'you think?"

The Vaultie was taken aback for a second, as if surprised to be consulted. _What shite was she actually on?_  The woman shrugged.

"I mean, the theatreful of Raiders trying to shove their rifles up my tailpipe kinda had most of my attention. But judging from this guy?" She walked over to the hunk of meat that was her opponent, giving his head a soft nudge with the toe of her boot, before turning her appraising gaze over to Cait, a nervous grin on her lips. "You got one hell of a right hook, lady."

"See? Someone knows skills when they see them."  The Vaultie blushed, bowing her head. _Bloody wallflower. How in God's name does she survive out there? Waste Muties an' Raiders with a flutter of her eyelashes?_

"It ain't your fightin' skills I'm concerned with." Tommy turned his back on Cait, addressing the Vaultie directly. _Pfft. Rude._

"So here's my predicament. All of a sudden, I got no audience. No audience means no caps comin' in. If _she,"_ he thrust a gnarled thumb at Cait, "ain't bringin' in the caps, she ain't an asset." She made a noise of objection, and he finally spun around, his cold, calculating gaze dragging up her figure _. Like I'm an object as opposed to his main source of income? Bastard._ Cait struggled to fight the sick shiver that ran up her spine. "Li'l Bird, you're a liability to me... _and_ to yourself. _Face the facts._ So here's what I'm thinkin'. What's say you, Blue Bombshell, take over her contract? Seein' as you cost me my business, you foot the bill, so to speak. She goes with you, watches your back, yadda yadda..." At the Vaultie's unconvinced stare, Tommy gave a huff, exasperated. " _Look,_ you'll be doin' me a favour while I try to get the place back in order. _C'mon,_ what d'ya say?"

"Eh!? Me 'n' her!?" Cait couldn't help but scoff, meeting the Vaultie's offended glare with her own. "What? You tryin' to get shot of me for good or somethin'?"

Tommy rounded on her once more, his anger growing at the thought of her souring his deal. "Look, _birdie_ , I don't know. _Maybe_ I think you need some time off. _Maybe_ I likes the look of this one's face? I usually got a good sense about these things, _So,"_ he spat, dismissing her once more, turning back to the Vaultie, "What d'ya say?"

Stunned to be consulted once more, The Vaultie couldn't help but stutter. "I-Well, I mean, what does Cait think?"

"Yeah! Don't I get a say in all this?"

Tommy sighed.

"That ain't how contracts work, Bird, and you know it. Besides, you _really_ wanna stay here? No audience? No caps? Nothin'  to speak to but yours truly?"

Cait deflated at that. _Bastard's right._ "Point taken." she ground out. Tommy smirked.

"Well, good to see the Little Bird is on board." Addressing the Vaultie, he couldn't quite mask the sneer that seemed to permanently infuse his being. "How about you?"

This only seemed to fluster the Vaultie further. "Wha- I-Yeah, she can come. But I'm not _taking_ her." She turned to face Cait directly, her features increasingly beetroot in colour as she stumbled over her words. "Y-You're more than welcome to join me, and I guess it'd be nice to actually having someone watching my back that I can have a proper conversation with."

There was a bark from behind the Vaultie. Tilting her head, Cait watched as the stranger turned, bending slightly to ruffle the dog behind its ear.

"C'mon, Y'know I love you but fair's fair boy, you're not exactly one for stellar chit chat, are you?"

The dog let out a happy bark and wag of his tail. The Vaultie only gave a humoured sigh. "Good lord, look at me talking to a damned dog."

Cait smirked at the newcomer. This time she couldn't tell if it was entirely sardonic.

Her eyes shifting to the side, Cait watched as Tommy pulled out her well worn contract, pressing it into the Vaultie's hands. She took it with a sigh, shoving it into a pocket. Cait never took her eyes off Tommy, glaring at him in suspicion.

"What exactly are you gonna do while I'm away?"

"Get this place in order, find less blood soaked clientele, _less acts who are gonna drop down any minute 'cause of the shit they pump into their system_? I ain't doin' the colour commentary when you finally decide to hit the deck." He shook his head sourly,  shooing her with harried hands. "Now look, get the hell outta here, you two have caused enough damage as it is."

"You're a real son of a bitch, Tommy, you know that?"

Tommy gave her one last glance before turning his back on her.

"You don't need to tell me, Birdie."

Cait watched in a fuming silence as Tommy left the cage and disappeared behind the stage curtain, glaring as if expecting to burn a hole in the ghoul's back. Waiting to make sure he didn't re-emerge, Cait swivelled back around to her new master. _Christ._ That word never failed to make her queasy. Said _master_ was crouched once more, talking softly to the mutt.

"You find anything interesting, buddy?" Receiving a disappointed whine, The Vaultie stood, glancing toward Cait.

"You have anything you wanna grab before we leave?"

"Nothin' but the clothes on me back." Cait groused. What was she trying to do? Try and lure her in with those big stupid puppy dog eyes. _I'll find out your agenda, princess._

"Alright then, let's head."

Giving only a murmur of agreement, Cait followed her out, annoyed as the dog decided to slow down and match her pace, trotting alongside her, tongue lolling out, watching his new companion. Anger growing at the mutt's continued attention, Cait growled at him, baring her teeth. The dog gave a happy yip, before sauntering back up to his master, as if pleased at the reaction she gave him. Shoulders slumped, Cait slouched behind the pair, giving an insolent huff.

Today was not going the way she expected.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the afternoon proved rather uneventful (Although Cait struggled to imagine what could possibly top the Vaultie's annihilation of the Combat Zone, short of another bomb blast). The handful of Raiders and rogue Super Mutant they did run into served as more of an exercise than actual threats and the Vaultie, for all her wet behind the ears naivety, had proven herself a tasty shot with a rifle.

As darkness had fallen, her new lord and master had suggested settling in for the night, leading to the pair setting up camp in the shell of what used to be a rather nice digs, in Cait's opinion. After conjuring up a reasonable fire to ward off the night's chill and a moderate dinner (Cait had no idea mole rat chunks could be so succulent, she had to hand it to the Vaultie, she definitely knew her way around a camp fire), Cait took to reclining against a worn out ottoman, idly toying with her combat knife as the Vaultie sat opposite her. She wasngrossed in her reflection in the back of a dinner tray, dabbing at her cheek as that damned dog sprawled out on his back , leg intermittently twitching as he dreamt of whatever it was big mangy slobbering hounds dreamt about. The night was peaceful, silence only intermittently interrupted with the crackle of the fire and the Vaultie's soft curses under her breath. There was a sharp hiss, as her wound refused to cooperate with her prodding.

Cait watched her from the corner of her eye, intrigued as the Vaultie attempted to make what she assumed were crude butterfly stitches consisting of gauze and duct tape, that refused to remain stuck to her wounded cheek, which was now a painfully flushed colour thanks to her repeated ministrations. The Vaultie cleared her throat to speak, and Cait startled slightly, averting her eyes a little too quickly, refusing to admit she had been caught staring.

"So, uh, see that guy? T-Tommy, yeah? What was wrong with him?"

Cait snorted. _Where to begin?_ "More like what's right with 'im. He's  got breath like shite and personality to match-"

"N-No, I mean," she motioned to her face, grimacing, before tugging at her nose, only causing Cait to scoff harder.

"You mean how he's a ghoul?" Her chuckle died in her throat as she sat up, sobering, a hint of warning in her voice. "You got a problem with that?"

"What? No!" The Vaultie started, as if the very idea of being  anti-ghoul offended her. "I-I mean, he never attacked me on sight, which is more than I can say for 90% of Boston this past week. And he at least seemed lucid. I've ran into others... _in his condition,_ but they'd lost their minds, like they were straight out of some B Movie horror schlock."

Cait frowned as she eyed up the Vaultie. _This just doesn't add up._ "You _really_ don't know about Ghouls?" Silence reigned as Cait was met with a blank stare. After several awkward seconds, she continued slowly, as if waiting for the Vaultie to shout out _Gotcha!_

"That's what radiation does to the body, if it doesn't kill ya at least. Or turn you into a Mutie. " She scrunched her nose in thought. "At least, I think that's how it works for them..."

She continued to watch as, with a contemplative grunt, the Vaultie lapsed into silence again, returning to poking at her face in the dinner tray. After the umpteenth aggravated wince from the weirdo - _Yeah._ Cait decided with a snort. _She's definitely a weirdo-_ she couldn't help but sigh, aggravated by the creep of fondness that threatened to tickle her chest. She positioned herself in front of the Vaultie, drawing out a spare stimpak from her pocket. At the sight of the needle, the Vaultie startled slightly.

"Look, here, you're makin' an arse out of it. Use this." She offered the stimpak, growing annoyed once more as the Vaultie ogled the contraption warily. Cait glared at her, getting impatient.

"It's a stimpak, for fuck's sake. It speeds up healin', stops shite from gettin' infected." The Vaultie's posture relaxed slightly but she looked no less wary. Cait huffed, rolling her eyes. _Jesus wept._ Grabbing her companion's arms,  Cait extended it, pulling it towards her, before jabbing the needle just below the crease of her elbow. The Vaultie yelped and Cait smirked at the offended glower she received as the Vaultie cradled her arm, nursing it to her chest. As her eyes fixated on her softly aching arm, Cait took the moment to examine her new owner's features closer, undisturbed, her eyes drawn once more the angry wound running the length of the Vaultie's face, marring what otherwise looked like perfect skin. Something was different about this one, and Cait couldn't help the protective flare that ran through her. _Just until I hear her story,_ she justified to herself. _It's bound to be worth hearin' over a beer, at least._ She spoke, softer this time, drawing the Vaultie's attention back to her.

"An' take that shite off your face there." She nodded to the makeshift stitches. "Unless you've got a needle an' thread, that cut isn't going to glue back together."

The Vaultie twitched as Cait gently tugged the gauze off, but didn't flinch away completely and Cait took that as a small victory. Bare faced, the wounded weirdo looked back into the dinner tray, her features distraught. "It's gonna scar, isn't it?"

"'Course it is, dummy," Cait leaned back on the heels of her feet, giving the Vaultie's shoulder a playful shove, hoping to put some distance between them. They were getting too chummy for Cait's comfort. _That's how bastards get ya. Lure ya in and when you least expect it..._

"You can't take a slice to face like that and not have it leave a mark. I wouldn't worry too much though, some folks go wild over battle scars." Giving a lecherous grin, she managed to mask the snort at the Vaultie's blushing at her attention. No one lived in the Common Wealth without a few scratches. _Although,_ she argued, _if my skin was as spotless as Vaultie's, I'd want to keep it that way, too._ She was halted from any further admiring as the Vaultie startled, giving her a bashful, apologetic look as she rustled through her suit pockets.

"Oh! Here, I forgot to give you this earlier." She proffered a familiar piece of paper, presenting it to Cait, receiving only a glare in return.

"Why are you giving me my contract?" She asked, immediately suspicious, her voice low and laced with danger. For her part, the Vaultie seemed unafraid, giving an innocent shrug.

"It's yours." She said simply, before  blushing, her next words stammered as a shaky grin crossed her lips. "And I-I know I'm into some kinky stuff, but I draw the line at _literally_ owning somebody." Hoping her attempt at humour would thaw Cait's features, The Vaultie's shoulders slumped in defeat as she was only met with a stony silence. She continued, quieter, but no less sincere. "Look, I don't want it, and it's... _wrong_ to own somebody like that. It's what we fight-" She paused, wincing slightly, "- _fought_ against. Please, take it. I don't care what you do with it, Just as long as it's you who decides."

Cait's glare softened slightly, as she glanced between the contract and the Vaultie's features, looking for the catch. _Is she for fuckin' real? Or is she just that stupid?_

Without another word, Cait resumed her previous position around the fire, still examining the contract carefully. After several minutes of continued silence, Cait absorbed with the contract and the Vaultie with her reflection, Cait spoke up again, still not understanding this weirdo's reasoning.

"You _do_ realise I can just up and walk out of here now, right?"

"Well, I-Yeah, of course," The Vaultie's brow furrowed, before she glanced up at her companion. "But I meant what I said back at the Combat Zone. I could use the company," she motioned to her wounded face with a weak chuckle, "And I could definitely use the back up. But I understand if you've got other stuff you'd rather get back to. I'm not going to force you into anything you don't want to do. I'd like it if we travelled together," She gave a shrug "but I get it if you don't."

Eyes never leaving her temporary owner's, as if challenging her, Cait crumpled the contract in her hand before letting it drop into the fire, curling and darkening to ash. For her part, the Vaultie's eyes never strayed from Cait's gaze and after a few seconds punctuated by the crackle of flames engulfing and devouring the paper, the Vaultie gave Cait a small smile before returning to the dinner tray, completely unperturbed. Cait frowned, losing herself in thought.

She was free, and while she had dreamt and imagined this moment several hundred times over the years, now that it had actually happened, it wasn't the issue pressing at the forefront of her mind. Continuing to watch the Vaultie across the fire from her, Cait started again, softer still, her curiosity winning out over any remaining grouchiness in her system. Not that she was warming to this weirdo, or anything.

"So what's your story then? Ain't nobody survives for long without knowing about Ghouls or feckin' Stimpaks. And only a fool would turn down slave contracts." _No one can be_ that _dumb._

Cait was surprised to see, that of all the questions she could possibly ask, this was one that made the Vaultie squirm slightly, and she watched as the woman opposite picked her words carefully.

"I'm from a Vault. Up north."

_She's evasive, then._

"With that Jumpsuit?" Cait feigned surprise. "No shit." The Vaultie pouted in response, but relaxed slightly. Cait continued.

"So why are you all the way down here instead of sipping coco with all your Vault buddies underground? And that doesn't explain your zero fuckin' clue when it comes to ghouls and shite. I know for a fact there's Vaulties out west that _have_ to trade with the Common Wealth. All of the survivin' ones do. What makes you so special?"

This made the Vaultie bristle more noticeably, clearly uncomfortable now. "I was woken up." Her tone was clipped and the following snort she gave was bitter. "We were locked up. Something happened." She took a deep breath. "And-"

The Vaultie steeled herself, clenching her jaw, her posture rigid as her scrunched hands, knuckles white, shook with an anger Cait would never have guessed the unassuming woman would possess. She glared into the heart of the fire and Cait swore the flames danced in her eyes as the woman opposite her spoke, voice low and dark.

" _Someone stole something from me._ I will _tear_ Boston apart with my own two goddamn hands to get 'im back and make sure that everyone gets the message to _never_ take from me _again."_   For a moment, the wind died down, the building ceased its creaking and even the crackle of the fire dropped. Cait held her breath, trapped by the tense air. For a second, she experienced a genuine fear in regards to the Vault dweller opposite her, and for once felt a deep guilt, having so obviously overstepped her boundaries.

But then, just like that, the moment passed, and the gentle night resumed. Tension slipped from the Vaultie's posture, her shoulder's sagging in the tired defeat Cait had seen upon the woman's arrival back at the Combat Zone.

"Or at least," The Vaultie continued, unaware of the effect she had on her surroundings, "that would be the plan if I knew a damn thing about this place." she glanced up to Cait with those big soppy puppy dog eyes she had and Cait startled at the twinge in her gut. The Vaultie scrubbed tiredly at the good side of her face.

"That's why I need someone to help me. I-" She sighed, as if admitting such weakness physically pained her "I'm way out of my depth. I have _no_ idea what I'm doing. For the past week, every single goddamn person I've met has tried to kill me, or throw me at a bunch of Raiders and a Death Claw- I think they're called?" She gave a mirthless laugh. "You ever tried reasoning with a Raider? They don't much care for debate. And as useful as Dogmeat here is, he's not much for idle chit chat." She gave a small sigh. "It's been lonely out here."

And for the first time in her life, Cait felt remorse for her actions, for opening this can of worms up. She just wanted an interesting, maybe even funny story to tell people about how she finally escaped the Combat Zone, not this absolute shit show she had apparently stumbled into. She hadn't meant to make the Vaultie all morose and mopey and shite. Clearing her throat, Cait attempted to change the subject, or explain herself, or somethin'. _Anythin'._

"I was only wonderin' seein' as you handed me my contract. Don't think you realise just how fuckin' valuable slaves are in the Common Wealth.

It was the Vaultie's turn to snort at her.

"If it's that important to you, I can write you up a new one."

"No!" Cait retorted, indignant before she registered the playful, smug grin on the Vaultie's face. _Bastard was teasin'. Two can play at that game, princess._ "But a girl can have a lot of fun that way," She continued, her voice more levelled, filling with more of the snark she was comfortable with. "I _could've_ been yours to do with what you want. Like y'said. Does get _awful_ lonely at night."

The Vaultie blustered, face turning an interesting shade of red, completely caught off guard and Cait chuckled. _Too easy._ The Vaultie eventually managed to snort out a laugh, glancing back down to the fire shyly.

"I- uh, thanks, but I'm," Cait watched as the woman's fingers went to rub those of her left hand, before her eyes jolted down, suddenly stricken again, the end of her sentence dying on her tongue. Cait's stomach flipped. _Keep makin' it worse._ She started again, for once, her voice quiet and unsure as she struggled to offer supporting words. _It never was my strong point._

"Look, If we're gonna hunt down whatever fucker who thought it'd be a bright idea to piss you off, we'll need a proper night's sleep before we feed 'em their own balls, yeah?"

Cait was relieved to see a gentle smile grace the Vaultie's features, as the woman appeared to at least appreciate her sentiment, no matter how shite she conveyed. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Right then."

Without another word, the pair relaxed, getting comfortable into their sleeping bags. Propping her back against a nearby wall, Cait could make out the silhouette of the Vaultie through the flicker of the flame, sprawled out next to the dog.

"G'night Cait,"

She stammered her response, taken aback. No one had ever wished her a good night before, at least, not like that.

"I-yeah, G'night-"

She caught herself surprised. Cait had never been much of a people person, but she had never felt so stricken upon realising she had not known someone's name.


	2. Bloody Nora

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things take a turn for the MA. Also boobs are awesome.

 

 

Cait took a deep breath. The sun was shining, the wind was blowing and psycho was coursing through her veins. Her body tingled with the afterglow of a good fight. A solitary bullet had grazed her arm, smarting it, and heightening her awareness of the danger around her, and just how close she danced near death sometimes. It was exhilarating.

Peeking out the second floor window of the bombed out building, Cait's eyes narrowed in contemplation. She momentarily examined the blood flecks dotting her skin, only some of which was hers, thankfully, before a rattle behind her drew her attention. Glancing behind, she leered at the view of the Vaultie's backside, her vault suit only serving to emphasize her... _assets_ as she crouched, softly cursing, lining up another bobby pin with the screwdriver already wedged in the lock. _Heh. Could think of a better use for that tool, personally. An' those hands._   _Christ._ Her mind wandered as her eyes stayed glued to her companion, moving from the lecherous to suspicion.

The past week had been good. Quiet, compared to the constant hum and threat of danger that hung around the Combat Zone. But there was always with a steady stream of Raiders, Gunners and Muties stupid enough to get in their way  to keep things interesting. Among it all, the Vaultie had eased up, allowing for a light repartee, a sprinkling of camaraderie but without any inane chatter. Outside their immediate plans or objectives, she kept to herself, and allowed Cait to do much the same. None of this namby pamby emotional shite Raiders and the like tried to draw out of Cait and attempt to use against her.

The Vaultie drew her attention once again as she stood with a sigh, before half turning and flexing her back, inadvertently placing her chest on prominent display. Cait swallowed. Her tits were practically engorged to the point her suit _must_ have felt uncomfortable, at least. What she wouldn't give to just sink her teeth  into-

An increasingly common flutter in her stomach joined the usual stab of lust she would feel at such thoughts, and Cait bit back a groan. The flutter made her feel strange. Queasy. It was an unknown and Cait did not like unknowns. It was enough to sober her slightly, and brought to mind the question she had been needing to ask for the past several days. For the life of her, however, she just couldn't quite muster up the balls to initiate that particular conversation. She didn't want to be the one to bring it up. The Vaultie might get the wrong idea, read shite into shite that wasn't even shite in the first place. Cait was never one to ask the soft questions. It was always someone else. But the Vaultie had proven different and it seemed this time was no different. Swallowing her apprehension and that _damned flutter,_ Cait approached the Vaultie, who had since resumed her crouched harassment of the safe's lock.

Leaning on the wall, Cait folded her arms, staring directly down into the Vaultie's face, who continued to ignore her in favour of the lock, a frustrated frown painting her features. Cait remained staring for a good minute before giving a huff and gritting her teeth.  _Do I have to do fucking everything?_

"So."

"So."  The Vaultie responded, distractedly, eyes never moving from her potential prize.

"So," Cait stammered again, growing angry with herself over her inability to just _fuckin' spit it out!_

The Vaultie gave a good humoured sigh, pushing herself away from the safe ever so slightly, before glancing up at her companion with a long suffering gaze and unbearably teasing smirk.

_"So."_

"I was wonderin'... if we could... _talk."_ She spoke, choosing her words ever so carefully. The Vaultie merely cocked an eyebrow.

"Isn't that what we're doing now?"

Cait glared. "You know what I mean, _smart arse."_ Clearly happy  with the foul mood she had aggravated in her companion, the Vaultie gave a self satisfied grin,  pulling herself up and resting her hip on a nearby desk, she shot her companion her most dazzling smile.

"Of course, Cait! Anything you need!" While her tone held all the ridiculous optimism of  those cheesy Vault Tech ads, Cait couldn't find it in herself to doubt the underlying sincerity in the Vaultie's words. Something which, unfortunately, was only compounding her newfound issue further.  It frustrated Cait, she had never  suffered such mental and verbal gymnastics around any other fucker before. Still, the Vaultie managed to drag a small chuckle out of her.

" _Anything I need, huh?_ Might just have to take you up on that one day." She smirked, pleased at the faint blush that crept up her companion's neck, finally having regained some ground.

Her brow furrowed, however as her mind returned to the crux of matter, or as close as she could get, at any rate, still feeling the inexplicable need to simply _explain_ herself to the Vaultie, like she had to _apologise_  for simply being herself.

"When Tommy stuck me with you. I was expectin' to hate your guts."

"Thank you." The Vaultie intoned and Cait glared at her flippancy, her attempt at superficial bantering when she was trying to _be super fucking serious, god damn it._ She ignored the comment, soldiering on.

"Not only because you agreed to pick up me contract, but because I was waitin' for you to order me around like hired fuckin' help."

"Well, I mean," The Vaultie scratched the back of her head, thinking, only the slight hint of a smirk giving away her playful intentions "I have three alarm clocks, a desk fan and a Jangles plushie if you're lookin' for more stuff to carry-"

Cait gave a powerful huff of annoyance through her nose, and the Vaultie finally took her cue to shut up and let Cait talk.

"So far, you've been treatin' me like a friend. Hell, you've been damn near _nice_ to me. Now, I don't mean to sound ungrateful," She continued in a threatening tone that implied she didn't give a flying fuck _how_ she sounded. "But, you're kindness is startin' to make me wonder."

She was pleased to see a gentle confusion grace the Vaultie's features, glad her companion was finally taking her seriously.

"If there's anythin' I learned at the Combat Zone, it was that nobody does things for other people without expecting' somethin'  in return. "

The Vaultie frowned, thinking for a moment, before meeting Cait's eyes again with a piercing gaze that threatened to have the fighter's stomach flutter up all over again. She gave a small, confused chuckle, as if waiting to be told the punch line to the joke.

"What exactly do you think I'm expecting in return?"

"Who knows?" Cait scoffed, glad to see she wasn't the only one confused by these turn of events. "Doin' your laundry, taken' a bullet for you, hauling' your gear... What's the difference?" She gave another huff of annoyance, this time aimed at herself for offending this person who's been nothing but nice to her. "I don't think I'm getting through to you. _Just_... let me explain where I'm comin' from." _And here it comes again,_ She chided herself as her mouth dribbled out more verbal diarrhoea. _Honestly, no other bastard, even me parents ever got this fuckin' much._

"I spent three years livin' at the Combat Zone, Smelled like puke and piss, but it was home. I carved out a life for meself. Some caps here an' there, three square meals a day and a bed to call me own."

" _Then_ the Raiders took over the place. You know that lot... they aren't exactly what you'd call _the gentle type._ After they moved in, if you didn't keep lookin' over your shoulder, you could expect a sucker punch, get robbed, or... _worse._ "

 It was then that the intensity of the Vaultie's gaze grew too much for her, so Cait continued, this time with her eyes downcast, focusing on a loose thread in her trouser leg. "It didn't take long to learn how to make me caps work for me. In that place, buyin' friends was essential to makin' life easier."

"So, I guess I'm waitin' for you to hand me a bill," Still fidgeting, Cait instead took to idly rubbing the track marks at her elbow crease as she built up the courage to return her gaze back up to her companion. "Y'know what I mean?"

Finally meeting the Vaultie's eyes, Cait was equal parts relieved and surprised to see an odd sort of compassion in them, an understanding that she didn't quite know how feel about. But Cait would take it.

She had almost given up on any form of response, when the Vaultie finally opened her mouth again.

"Why are you so paranoid about debts and paying people back?"

 _Of course she'd fuckin' strike right there._ The increasing distance from her comfort zone gave rise to a clawing panic in Cait and she tried to extract herself from the conversation as skilfully as possible. She cursed how soft her voice sounded when she replied.

"I _really_ don't want to talk about it." She watched, thankful as the Vaultie's posture relaxed, gracing Cait with an accepting smile, content to leave to topic be for the time being. The simple expression conjured an odd coiling in her gut, not dissimilar to the flutter, but she couldn't do anything but feel grateful for her Vaultie's response.

"Please, just give me some time," She chided herself again, softer this time. _There you go again, apologisin' for maybe hurtin' her feelings. "_ And I'll think of somethin' I can do to repay you. I'm not a rich girl, but I'm sure we can agree on somethin'. After all," She gave an internal groan. _Can't believe I'm about to fuckin' say this. "_ What are friends for?"

The soft, genuine and radiant smile that blossomed on her Vaultie's face made any inward cringing at herself worth it, and she couldn't help but feel a happy... _somethin'_ as a matching  grin appeared across her own features.

"B-But that's not what I wanted to ask you." She stuttered, giving a small shake of her head to stop her getting too soppy and sentimental. _This kind of shite usually makes me stomach churn._ "If we _are_ friends, I need to know your name."

A startled confusion erupted across her Vaultie's features. "You don't know? Did I not tell you?" she wrinkled her nose, as if the very thought was abhorrent, before muttering. "Dear lord. Momma would be so ashamed. _I done raised you with better manners 'an 'at, li'l lady."_  She shook her head to clear her thoughts.

"No, you didn't. And I don't know what to call you. I need to know who it is I'm repayin' these debts to."

A genuine apology danced on the end of the Vaultie's tongue for a moment, before she bit it back with a wry grin. Standing straight from her position on the desk, The Vaultie made a show of brushing down her suited legs, before sauntering the short distance to Cait, proffering a hand to the woman, that same impish enthusiasm before painting across her face.

"Howdy, Cait!  My momma calls me Nora. Pleased to be makin' your acquaintance, darlin'."

Cait scowled.

"Now you're just takin' the piss- wait,  _Nora!? For real!? Ha!"_ Her surprised grin only grew at the affronted frown the fell on her companion's features. "Bit old fashioned, is it not? Where are your hair rollers and slippers?"

Nora backed away an inch, well and truly offended, if not for the tug of a grin at the corner of her lips.

" _Excuse me, little lady._ I'm older than I look." She shrugged. "I moisturise."

Leaving Cait to cackle quietly, Nora turned back to the safe. With one more little jimmy, it popped open. As the Vault dweller  filled her pack, Cait gazed round, waiting for her to finish before a triumphant "Aha!" drew her attention back to her companion.

Just as she turned around, Cait's face was assaulted by a small, pink flying projectile, She glared in confusion as she caught the thing rebounding off her nose, before realisation of the object dawned on her. She glanced back down to see Nora smirking, proud.

"Found 'em in my old bedside cabinet. _Fallon's Multi Purpose Pink Lady Velcro Curlers._ Resistant to heat, Chemical treatments _and_ the occasional nuclear apocalypse. They should put _that_ on the box."

Cait rolled her eyes, unable to stop the infectious grin on her face as she pocketed the roller. Their haul complete, the pair made their way back down the tenement, before returning to the streets. Walking, Nora bumped  shoulders playfully with Cait, who with a snort, could only shake her head.

_Honestly._

_Nora. Bloody Nora._

 

* * *

 

 _Shit._ A smarting pain cut through the dull throb growing in her chest as she gave another sharp tug. _Nate was always better at this. Man was an artist._ She grit her teeth as she repositioned her tired fingers over her reddened nipples. She'd been putting this off, the past few weeks. Funnily enough, minor radiation poisoning, the loss of one's immediate family and life as one knew it, as well as the minor inconvenience of waking up in the aftermath of a _nuclear fucking apocalypse_ didn't inspire much libido and urge for self exploration. She gave a bitter chuckle. If only her antenatal classes had prepared her for this.

The salt from the sweat on her hands grit and pained against her chafed nipples. Nora would have to be careful, lest they crack and bleed again. _Why is it so fucking difficult now?_ She'd managed with this particular aspect of parenthood before in the wasteland that was once her home. Usually, however, through tears and angry, hissed expletives. She was also alone, last time, and Dog Meat didn't count.

Since meeting Cait however, Nora was painfully aware of the other's presence at night. She wasn't a prude, by any means, her years in the military had cured her of any of that but the thought of _touching_ herself in such close proximity to someone who wasn't Nate was a difficult thing to shake.

She gave a huff of annoyance. If Nora was being completely honest with herself, she was looking for any excuse to put it off, and Cait's presence just so happened to be the easiest to justify. She never used to be like this. One thing Nate had always remarked about her was Nora's outgoing, head strong and often times blustering attitude to life. She was a woman who _got shit done._ And now, after nearly a month of awkward encounters and moping her way through the Commonwealth, Nora was done with feeling sorry for herself. Nate would agree. Especially with Shaun concerned.

Her baby boy was _still_ out there. Scared. Alone. With fuck knows what happening to him. A righteous anger flared in her belly, sparking a stubborn determination that helped cut through the pain in her breasts. She _had_ to continue. For Shaun. There was no way she could stop producing and dry up her baby's one source of nutrition in this fuckhole hell-scape they found themselves in. She'd allowed depressive impassivity hold her down and put it off for too long. _He_ was depending on her. _Get it fucking together soldier._

She let the sore tips of her breasts go, panting as she straightened her back, allowing her weary bones to pop and crack. What she wouldn't give for some shea butter or sensitive oils. It wasn't like the milk wasn't there. The painful fullness in her chest attested to that, as her vault suit slowly tightened when everywhere else fell loose. She just needed to get it out.

 _Okay._ She thought to herself. _Action plan._ When Shaun was newborn, she had initial difficulty expressing. The midwife had told her to find ways to reduce her stress levels. She let out a small chuckle. _Can't even  think of the phrase 'stress relief' without going back to Basic._ Nora could forgive the batch of freshly enlisted recruits when she first joined for acting like teenagers, because, well... they _were_ teenagers. Now she looked back and cringed at their naivety and indestructible attitude.

At seventeen, they still couldn't drink, and lacked the necessary funds to leave base for a night at the movies or other _ahem_ wholesome family activities. But there was something they could do, something Nora and Nate most certainly _did_ do that was free and fun. And hey, _it wasn't breaking regs if they didn't get caught._ The throwback to much more innocent times, of self discovery and exploration sent a spark of excitement up Nora's spine that she hadn't felt since thawing in the Vault at least. tentatively, she allowed her fingers to glide down her toned abdomen, slipping underneath the now familiar jumpsuit and toying with the band of frayed underwear. She let our thoughts drift to images of Nate, trying her hardest to recreate the ghost of his touch.

  _Strong square hands, calloused with rifle use and armour maintenance. Despite his strength and the power in his grip, he was gentle, delicate in a way that allowed her to unravel completely, safe in his grasp. Chiselled muscles that Nora had to fight not to bite into and get lost in. Glancing up she would be met with warm, hazel eyes, crinkled with equal parts affection and amusement, his lips loping into a lazy grin._ When she had told her sister that she found his kindness his sexiest trait, Betty had laughed but a glance up to Mama and she received a knowing nod.

 _She loved him. Nate was a kind man. A good man. His aura simply... radiated it. Unable to take his gaze any further, Nora thrust her fingers through a thick mane of perfectly coiffed dark hair, before bringing his lips down and meeting them with her own. Her other hand danced down his body, tickling a path down his muscles before landing on **that** muscle. With a sly grin, she enveloped it in her fist, heat coiling in her stomach at the low, rumbling groan she coaxed out of him. _Slipping past the band of her own underwear, she allowed herself to touch in tandem, relieved to feel the beginning of wetness decorating her folds. Tentatively, she returned fingers to her abused nipples, continuing  their teasing, trying to block out any residual pain that protested further treatment.

Nora was successful for a few minutes before she dried up again. Her thoughts of Nate were becoming hazy, the details of his face, his voice fading. The gradual realisation caused a slight spike of anxiety that she struggled to ignore. She tugged harder, audibly gasping at the sting in her breast. Tears gathered in her eyes, whether of pain or shame at her failure, she wasn't sure.

 Before they could escape down her cheeks and signal defeat, Nora forced herself to calm down angrily, Taking several deep breaths, not quiet tempering the frustrated growls vibrating in her throat. _New tactic._ She let memories drift off into fantasy, of positions and ideas she had wanted to perform with Nate as she recovered from pregnancy. Her features softened as she let her mind wander, filling in which ever blanks it found.

 _The hands that caressed her body remained calloused, but they were smaller, she idly noted and a shade or too lighter than Nate's tanned complexion. Allowing her own fingers to return the favour, Nora traced the pattern of faint freckles up the arm. Still muscled, still the arms of a warrior, but less filled out, wiry where Nate was supple. Moving her attention to the torso, Nora delighted to see definition, again more sharp and prominent than she was used to but the subtle display of power was just as delectable. Her breathing grew heavy as she bit her lower lip in a bid to contain herself._ Plunging two fingers into her heated core, Nora gave small gasp of excitement as her mind's eye discovered something she had yet to explore before. Something Nate certainly lacked.

 _Travelling upwards, she was met with two soft globes, pert and peaked with small, hard nipples, not yet stretched and made heavy with motherhood. the dusting of freckles over the crest of the breasts were accentuated by constant exposure to Boston's sun. Nora's mouth watered as she yearned to take one peak in her mouth._ Once more, she returned her touch to her own nipples and groaned in satisfaction as the constant throb was masked by desire as her folds below grew slicker still.

_Eager to see what treasures lay in the face above, Nora allowed her eyes to wander further, grinning softly as she was met with mischievous green eyes and triumphant smirk, all framed with a fiery red nest of unkempt hair, wild like the owner. So enamoured with each individual feature, from the prominent cheekbones and broken nose down to the full lips and darting tongue, it took Nora several seconds before she began to wonder. Odd, this kind of looks like-_

* * *

Cait shuddered, letting the cold sweat drip from her brow as she rubbed absent mindedly at the track marks on her arm. Once again the buzzing in her head failed to grow into a full blown trip. She swore softly under her breath. This problem was supposed to have vanished after she doubled her doses two months ago. It had worked initially, as strong and euphoric has her first time, but very quickly, her come downs happened sooner, memories she had hoped forgotten came back to haunt her, stronger and there was a bit more blood in her phlegm than she was content with. _For fuck's sake, Cait,_ she scolded herself. Her only recourse was to triple her intake, but even in her current hazy mind, she saw that fast track to her funeral for what it was.

 _Of course, you could always kick the habit._ She had to give a bitter laugh at that one. As if she hadn't already tried. _You wouldn't think someone could near enough OD on addictol._ But here she was. She hocked and spluttered, taken aback by a surprise coughing fit. Her throat felt as if it was tearing itself apart and when she looked at her palm, she grimaced at the red goo that painted it.

Wiping her hand on her thigh, Cait threw her head back, taking a trembling inhale. _There it is._ A wan smile graced her lips as the Psycho finally flooded her system, washing away her sombre mood with it. Suddenly it became much easier to justify herself.

 _Senses heightened. I can smell colours. See sound. Taste the world around me. I can even hear whimpers comin' all the way from Nor-_ Cait's eyes shot open, alarmed. _I should investigate._ Nora was nice, potentially too much for her own good. Gratingly kind and polite but with a deviant streak that Cait was determined to tease out of her. _And that arse._ She had to hand it to Vault-Tec. Their suits highlighted _all_ the right areas. _Although,_ she argued with herself, _that woman could skin a radiated mole rat, wear its hide and still have her tits poppin'._  She gave a lecherous chuckle as the room swayed around her. _But, nobody is a good lay when they're mopey,_ her thoughts turned morose once more, _and somethin' fucked up is eatin' at her._

During the day, Nora was mostly good company, up for a laugh and could be as filthy as Cait if she tried. At night, however, she had a tendency to become reserved and  quiet, which the Pit Fighter hated. _Far too much thinkin'._  Tonight had left Cait doubly vexed, as they would usually share a meal of questionable quality that Nora always managed to make somewhat palatable from the Commonwealth's scraps, before curling up and nodding off, ready for the next day and whatever it may bring. If anyone done some sneakin' off, it would be Cait, after she was certain Nora and the dog were fully asleep so she could tweak out  on her own. But tonight, after some Cram and Insta-Mash that almost looked out of those pre-war vids, Nora had muttered something about an early night and crept off to another room. They never slept separately. It was tactically unsafe, foolish, Nora had told her.

Cait wouldn't say she worried about her Vaultie but- _Oh fuck it. Alright, I'm worried._ But it wasn't because they were friends or anything, as if she had actually come to care for Nora in ways that didn't relate directly to her own survival. _No_ , No, of course not. It was because Cait had a debt to pay, _obviously._ Cait repays her debts. _Just ask those fucker parents of mine._ No. Quite simply, she couldn't have Nora going and toppin' herself before she had a chance to square up. _Right?_ She frowned at the sarcastic, sneering tone that responded n her mind. _Right._

Standing up, Cait waited momentarily for her legs to stop swaying and the sweat to evaporate from her skin. The grunts from next door when growing, almost into growls, laced with frustration. As carefully as her leaden feet allowed, Cait crept through to the adjoining doorway.

Peeking her head through, Cait was taken aback, her eyebrows launching into her forehead at the sight before her. Nora knelt, her vault suit peeled down to the waist and breasts on prominent display as she forcefully tugged at them with one hand, her other snaked into the front of her waistband, rubbing on... _something._ Cait grinned, mesmerised.  She was certainly a sight to behold.

Idly, Cait licked her lips as eyes dragged upwards from the mystery of what lay beneath Nora's underwear, to her loose breasts, swaying ever so slightly with the woman's motions, both nipples engorged from such heavy attention. _She wasn't fuckin' around. She's properly goin' for this._

Trailing upwards still, Cait's features softened from lewd to something more gentle at the sight of such unbridled rapture on Nora's face. Ignoring the squirm in her belly, Cait drank in the in the view, from the softly knit brow of Nora's concentration, to the soft sheen of sweat that was developing on her lips, muttering something almost unintelligible as her ministrations sped up.

"-ate. Oh god... please... -ait."

"Careful there, or you'll rip 'em right off." She chuckled , oblivious to Nora jumping, scrambling almost a foot off the ground. She pouted through her psycho fuelled haze as the woman in front of her tugged the vault suit up to cover her, mortification written all over her face.

"Aww, C'mon! Show can't be over already?" She clucked her tongue, disappointed. "Y'know, if you needed a hand or two, you Could'a just asked." She watched Nora dazedly for another minute, swaying gently as she waited for a response. Receiving none, Cait shrugged.

 "I know Vaulties can be a bit on the prude side, but it's nothin' t'be ashamed of, y'hear? We're all animals. We all have _needs._ An' helping each other out... it's the _neighbourly_ thing t'do." She chuckled, to herself more than anything, frowning when she realised Nora wasn't laughing along with her, instead still sitting ram rod straight, trying her best to cover herself. Cait's voice softened in a way she couldn't help, a sober concern piercing through her chem induced haze.

"Seriously, Nora, you alright?"

Her friend blushed profusely, finally coming back to herself. After a few attempts at clearing her throat, she managed to splutter out a weak "I-I-Yeah. I'm _,_ I'm fine."

A moment's silence stretched out, increasingly uncomfortably, between them. Taking her cue to leave, Cait gave a short nod.

"Alright, well, if you need anything, just shout. Or, _moan,_ I guess." She smirked. "I'll come runnin' either way."

Getting a nod in return, Cait departed back to her own room and sleeping bag, her imagination now rife with ideas to help pass the time until she blacked out into unconsciousness.

* * *

_C'mon Nate. Deep green eyes, Soft auburn hair. Lilting Irish ac-_

Nora rocketed out of her ministrations, her heart pounding out a tattoo in her chest as Cait stood, slurring something in the doorway. _Did I summon her, or...?_ She could only make a weak attempt to cover her breasts as Cait continued to mumble lasciviously across the room, before trying to get a grip on the rush of emotions rattling around her mind.

It took her a moment to recognise fear clenching her in its icy grip, the cold, paralysing kind she hadn't felt since her first deployment. Terror over the escape of her secret, of Nate and Shaun loomed over her, darkly. _No one can know. Not until I find him. Not until I can sort this._ She glanced back up to Cait, who was now waiting for a response.

She measured her companion up momentarily. She was far too out of it to take anything in. Hopefully she won't remember this come morning. Hopefully she won't ask too many questions. Unable to formulate a response to the woman in the doorway, Nora instead tried to regulate her breathing. With a shrug, Cait muttered something, her tone gentler than Nora had heard before. Oddly, it calmed her.

 Glancing up into her companions sharp green eyes, somehow managing to cut through her trip, instead piercing Nora's very soul. She wasn't sure if she wanted her to leave, or for Cait to come and finish her off, kiss her, cuddle her, whisper sweet nothings into her ear... _anything._

Stuttering out a response, Cait eventually left, mollified. With her companion's absence, the overwhelming silence of the room was amplified, and Nora merely sat, stunned for another minute, attempting to process what had just happened. Slowly, her senses returned and her heartbeat fell to a more reasonable rate. The practical voice in her head rang through once more.

 _You still haven't produced. You need to continue. For Shaun's sake._ She couldn't deny the jolt of fear and excitement that had shot through her at being caught. It caused a coil of heat in stomach and a thrill of anticipation up her spine. Slowly, with shaking hands, she returned to her previous ministrations, constantly on edge should she be interrupted once more. It was with another dull shock of excitement she realised she wouldn't be opposed to another interruption.

Pleased to feel slick heat  greet her in her underwear, Nora allowed her mind to guide her. Slowly, Nate's features began to melt into a more feminine figure, no less strong or bold, but with a certain image that Nora recognised, but refused to acknowledge. Anxiety and pain gave way to pleasure and relief as she felt moisture greet her at her nipple. The surprise drove her on, allowing Nora to crest moments later, a shuddering sigh signalling her orgasm. A warmth filled her in the aftermath, as she moved her attention back to her breasts, ensuring a steady volume was produced before finishing. She felt a glow at finally achieving _something_ in this god forsaken wasteland, at not being an entire failure of a mother and of this odd... awakening that radiated through her being.

Wiping herself down and suiting up, Nora repositioned herself in her sleeping bag, allowing herself to finally drift off into a more peaceful sleep than she had experienced in a long time, guided by images and thoughts of a familiar fiery fighter to see her through to the dawn.

 

* * *

 

When she awoke, such thoughts continued to linger, even as she prepared a mildly awkward breakfast for herself and Cait, packed up their makeshift camp and set back out on the road. All the while sneaking glances at her companion, as if her features held the answer to her thoughts. As they walked, Nora let herself fall back  a few paces, to allow herself space to think. She was drawn from any musings however as Cait turned her head, giving that shit eating grin whenever she was up to something.

"Y'know, we'd move faster if you'd keep your eyes on the road and off me arse."

Nora choked on a response, her face flushing in more than just the Boston sun, causing Cait to burst out in a hearty cackle. Mumbling a response, Nora picked up her pace, glowering firmly on the trail in front of her.

_Dear lord. Now I'm more confused than ever._


	3. Home Truths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turns out Tatoes aren't potatoes but a tomato/potato hybrid. I see them growing red on the vines in the game but it never clicked with me until I began writing about it.
> 
> While we're on the topic, it's pronounced mutt fruit. idgaf what MacCready says.
> 
> Also this is 1 of 2. ended up writing a 10,00 behemoth of a chapter and decided to split it. so ja.

_Why d'you have to be so fuckin' bright? Piece of fuckin' shite-_

Cait continued throwing curses at the sunlight streaming through slits in the roof as she groggily returned to the land of the living. Sleep crusted at her eyes and her mouth tasted like a Yao Gui's arse. _Ugh._ She rummaged through her pack, eventually coming across her last shot. She groaned. _We better be hittin' civilisation soon._ The mere thought of running on empty caused a cold sweat to appear on her brow, and an uncomfortable churn in her stomach. She knew Nora had gear though. If worst came to worst, she could scam some off the Vaultie. Her feature's scrunched in displeasure. The idea of it only made her feel worse, in turn aggravating Cait further. _Since when has stealin' or swindlin' ever been an issue?_ It was dishonest, sure, but when had she not been? It was stupid to ask questions however, she already knew the answer. It wasn't cheating her out of the Psycho that was the issue, it was the fact that it was _Nora_.

_Speakin' of Nora,_ Cait continued quickly, desperate to move her thoughts on, _what was all that about last night?_ She leered at the memories, the churn in her stomach turning into something she was much more comfortable and familiar with. After the previous evenings... _performance,_ Cait had returned to her bed and used the images to strum herself to a different sort of high. _Ha. Fuck._ She shifted her thighs and snorted. _Could go again if I wanted. Might ask if she wants some tips. A proper demonstration._ While no stranger to the human form, it had been a while since she had seen one of Nora's calibre, perfectly proportioned and deliciously tanned as opposed to emaciated and weather beaten like most stragglers she ran into. _And boy, she liked it fuckin' rough._ Definitely a woman after Cait's own heart.

She waited another minute for her heart rate to drop and breathing to calm from the spike a Hit always brought with it, before heading out to their communal fire. She found Nora already hard at work, frying finely sliced mole rat meat along with a healthy heaping of Tatoes. The Vaultie was religious when it came to vegetables, telling her it was _part of a healthy balanced diet_ and to _always eat your greens, dammit._ The latter had always perplexed Cait. Green was never good in the Commonwealth. Bad things happened when you ingested it.

The Vaultie's eyes flickered up, muttering a tired _G'morning_ before returning to her cooking, a flush igniting across her cheeks that Cait doubted had anything to do with the heat of the fire. Taking a seat opposite, Cait was thankful for Dogmeat's pathetic attempts to beg for scraps, his whining antics at least breaking up the otherwise awkward silence. She fidgeted, eyes fixed on the Vaultie's cooking. The tension was becoming unbearable. Cait coughed, before speaking up.

"So, _Noorraa,"_ She couldn't help but snort. _Seriously? Fucking Nora. "_ What's the plan today? We headed back to civilisation?"

Nora let out a huff of laughter, finally glancing up to Cait and making extended eye contact. "Civilisation? Out here, I doubt it. There _is_ a town I'm interested in though, Good Neighbour. You ever heard of it?"

_Good Neighbour? The Tweaker's Paradise? Fuckin' score._

"Aye. It's an alright place, at least, as alright as any other shite hole in the Commonwealth. Good, decent people," Cait frowned. " _Well,_ not good, and definitely not decent, but they'd rather stab you in the front than the back, Y'know?" Unable to resist a tease, she smirked, eyes narrowing across the fire. "And it's _the_ place to relieve some tension, if you get me?"

Nora straightened awkwardly, face turning as red as the Tatoes on her plate. Trying to continue her breakfast, she swallowed, immediately choking as she struggled to get it down. Cait merely quirked an amused eyebrow.

"You alright, Nora?"

" _Yeah, yeah,_ " The Vaultie managed, rubbing her face distractedly. Cait kept a sly eye on her as she moved back to her own breakfast. It was difficult to keep the smirk off her face as Nora peered at her through fingers across her face, poorly masking her gaze as she took in the fighter's form. Cait couldn't help but be a little proud at the reaction she was provoking.

"It-It's just been a... _confusing_ few days is all."

"Oh," Cait responded, an exaggerated concern in her voice as she made a show of slipping the meat off her fork and licking her lips. "Hope I've not been contributin' to that."

Her attempt at humour bypassed Nora completely, as she sat, mesmerised, a slight frown on her face.

"You make me _very_ confused, Cait."

Unable to control a straight face anymore, Cait snorted heavily into her plate, her devious grin threatening to send her mouthful of breakfast tumbling to the ground. Opposite her, Nora bristled, exasperated.

"See! Like that! What's so funny?"

She swallowed the remaining contents of her mouth, finally able to look back up at her friend, shaking her head.

"Nothin', numb nuts. Now, hurry up and eat," Cait stood, picking up the remaining chunks of mole rat that had been roasting away on the fire, throwing them in Dogmeat's direction before brushing herself down. "We want to get to Good Neighbour while the party's still goin' strong." Turning, she took one last glance at Nora with a genuine smile, a twinkle in the Vaultie's eye making butterflies spark up that Cait couldn't blame on the cooking.

Nora watched her friend go, letting out an soft sigh before taking another bite of her breakfast.

_So God damn confused._

 

* * *

 

_Good Neighbour was fucking awesome._ Half an hour in the door and they had already met the mayor _and_ scored some serious shit from him _(Decent price and that Hancock threw in a hit for the road. Who said politicians were terrible people?)_. Best of all, Cait was pretty sure Nora hadn't noticed the exchange, instead enraptured in what she assumed was the Vaultie's first taste of a larger settlement. Not that Cait was hiding her dealings, of course, just that the thought of doing it right under Nora's nose left her feeling-

_Fuck. Nope. I am not ruining this buzz I've got going._  She shook her head, instead drawing her attention back to the singer on stage, her melodious tones filling the bar. Cait scowled slightly. While the singer was nothing if not professional, her eyes dancing from patron to patron, Cait _swore_ they lingered on their table ever so slightly longer than the rest. More specifically, they lingered on Nora. Glancing at her companion, Cait saw her friend's brow knit in concentration, her gaze glued to the stage in what? awe? Wonder? Who knew. What Cait _did_ know was that she didn't like it. Every time the singer's eyes landed back on them, she found her knuckles whitening and a muttered _fuck off_ that took several moments for Cait to realise was coming from herself.

"Right, C'mon," She stood, clapping her hands together lightly. "It's far too stuffy in here. Let's head up and get some fresh air." Nora turned her concerned gaze toward her, startling out of her reverie.

"Yeah, if you're sure." She mumbled, her laser guided focus now on Cait. Grabbing her hand, Cait all but dragged her towards the stairs, The skin where her fingers touched Nora's wrist tingling as if on fire and she swore she could feel the Vaultie's worried stare burning into the back of her head. Cait hurried their steps.

Blinking as they re-entered the afternoon sun, Cait felt a tug at her hand and turned. Nora stood with a small frown as she scanned her friend's features, as if examine every individual pore on her face, before returning her gaze to Cait's eyes.

"Are you _sure_ you're alright? You look kind of..." She grimaced, motioning to her own face with her free hand. Cait glared.

"Yeah. 'Course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" Embarrassed by her defensive tone, Cait instead turned her attentions to the town around her. She hadn't actually thought of a plan beyond escaping the Third Rail and she didn't want Nora slinking back inside. To her left, a building caught her eye, all draped in velvet and lit up like a homing beacon in all manner of reds, pinks and purples. She could practically taste the cheap perfume merely looking at it. Cait grinned.

"There. We're goin' _there_."

Stepping behind Nora, she seized the Vaultie's shoulders and guided her in the building's direction with Nora only putting up a half hearted struggle.

"I-wait, what's in there!? We've already established, bad things happen when we go to the theatre."

"Well, it looks like a burlesque house. If we're lucky, it's a whore house. And _look_ at you." She gave a playful squeeze of her friend's shoulders. "All tight and ready to _pop._ Told ya, it's not good keepin' all that tension coiled up. You need a release!" _Preferably not from some two bit singer in some dingy bar._ Cait bristled at the thought.

Barrelling through the doors, Cait swept Nora through the corridors, only to stop, utterly perplexed as they entered the main room.

There were... pods. _What kind of bullshit-? Ugh._  The waft of perfume clung in the air, not as oppressive as Cait imagined - _Well, hoped -_ and save from some old trout lounging on a chair up at the stage, the place was decidedly unsexy. Instead, it appeared soft and comfortable, not the dungeon of debauchery and depravity Cait was counting on. _Well, fuck._

"You look lost. I think you've stepped into the wrong place, dears." That tarted up trollop spoke, descending from her throne and approaching the pair. Cait decided she didn't like her. The woman met Cait's glare with a smirk of her own, before turning her gaze to Nora, drinking in the Vaultie's every detail. Her smirk softened.

"You look like you could use the memory den, however, sweetheart." The woman frowned in thought, taking a step back. "Do either of you even know what we do here?"

Cait's glare warped into a challenging smirk as she came to stand by Nora's side. Invading the old boot's personal space  was merely an added bonus.

"Oh I dunno," Cait said pointedly, drawing the Woman's attention. "Does it involve a backroom and a handful of singles?"

The woman glared at her, tisking disdainfully.

"You have the _wrong_ idea, honey. _I_ don't sell skin." She returned her attentions to Nora, " I sell memories." Beside her, Cait felt as Nora perked up. "And let me tell you, reliving an experience? The _right_ experience? It's far more intense than anything you suggested. But it's not for anyone."

Cait had already scoffed and turned to leave when Nora spoke.

"I have a hundred caps. Upfront. I-I could get more if that's not enough." Nora frowned. _This could be what I need. Jog the memory. Never forget._ She swallowed as the elder woman only continued to stare her down, waiting. "I-I need to remember someone. Well," She winced. " _Two_ someones."

Cait spun around, startled. She hadn't pegged Nora as one for sentimental shite, someone to get played. _She's fuckin' joking, right!?_ The Woman only raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"Mhmm. See? Someone who knows how the world works." She approached Nora, delicately taking the pouch of caps from her."Irma," She introduced herself. "I suppose I can give you a trial run."

"Now," She spoke, striding away and hitting a button on a nearby machine, causing it to hiss open. "Memories involving others are the easiest. Events involving loved ones. Does anything come to mind."

Nora continued to stand straight, unwavering, unnerving Cait with her rigidity.

"Yes."

Both Cait and Irma waited a moment for her to continue. Receiving no response, Irma bowed her head with a small smile. "That's fine, if you don't want to tell us. All we need is for you to focus on it in the machine, okay? When you're ready, sit down in the lounger. Let's see what we can find."

With a brusque nod, Nora moved towards the pod. Only at the last minute did Cait manage to seize her arm, turning the Vaultie to look at her.

" _Are you fucking serious!?"_ She hissed, eyes wild. Nora only met her with a determined stare.

"I'm doing this, Cait."

" _You're fucking crazy!_ You don't know who she is, or what she does. You can't trust her. Who's to say she doesn't just blast you brain open in there and take whatever else you've got left on you?" Nora swallowed, steeling herself. Though her eyes were fixed and jaw clenched with determination, Cait did not mistake the pleading in her voice.

" _Cait._ I _have_ to do this."

She held Nora's gaze for a moment longer. There was a fire that danced in the Vaultie's eyes that Cait had only seen in their hairiest of scrapes, where the woman turned almost feral in her fight for survival. Letting out a short huff, Cait glared at her friend. There would be no talking her out of this.

"Alright, _fine._ I'll make sure they don't lay a finger on you, but in there, you're on your own. Just..." She shifted uncomfortably, giving a defeated sigh. "make sure you wake up again, yeah?"

Nora responded with a curt nod, the steel edge in her tone softening slightly. " _Yeah."_ She swallowed. "Yeah. I'm sorry, Cait, but I need this."

It was only when Nora had turned to situate herself in the pod that Cait realised she had reached out a hand in an attempt to grab her friend. Slowly, she clenched her empty fist, bringing it up to rest against her mouth. It was only when the pod slid shut and powered up with a low hum did she realise she was nervous. She hated being nervous. Nerves were her gut's way of telling her something was going to happen. And that something was never good.

Her legs itched to pace, to find some way to burn the bubbling energy gathering up but she refused to leave her friend's side, especially as Irma approached the pod, fiddling with a dial and bringing a front facing screen blinking to life.

"What're you doin'?" She queried, trying her hardest to keep the hostility out of her voice.

"Monitoring her, honey." Irma glanced up at her with dark, searching eyes that made Cait shiver as the elder woman cut right to her core. "We're no charlatans, here. We look after our clients. I wouldn't have let her into the lounger if I didn't think she could handle it. Still," her eyes returned to the screen with an introspective frown. "It's best if we can keep an eye on her, for peace of mind, if nothing else. Take a look."

Cait peered over as an image appeared on the screen, fuzzy, but gaining clarity with every passing second. _These were Nora's dreams; memories._ Cait's gut churned. This all felt far too voyeuristic.  _She_ wouldn't want fuckers poking around her thoughts and it felt wrong to be doing the same to her friend. The inner  voice in her mind sneered. _There you go again with your morals. What's happened to you?_

_Nora happened._ She bit back internally. Cait knew the wastes.  How shite and unforgiving they could be. Nobody done stuff for nothin'. Everyone wanted something. Everybody had a price. But Nora was different. She helped people. She fixed things. She just _did._ Often without even being asked. She was decent, as if untarnished by a lifetime surviving in the Wastes. And Cait wasn't stupid. She knew how unique that was. How rare to the point she hadn't thought people like Nora even existed. So she wasn't going to lose her. Nora was her _friend,_ dammit, and she'd be _fucked_ before she let any bastard harm her friend.

There was a flash on the screen, pulling Cait back out of her thoughts. She frowned at the images, confused. Things looked.... _different_ on the screen. _Vibrant._ Like those propaganda posters that decorated the Commonwealth.

 

* * *

 

" _Renshaw!_ What in god's name do you think you're doing?"

Nora scrambled to her feet, fighting against the pack  that had dragged her down into a passable impression of a defeated turtle. Her legs however, refused to co-operate, failing to find purchase in the knee deep mud. It was then she came to her final conclusion.

_Conscription sucks ass._

Glancing around at her fellow recruits, it was at least a passing comfort to note she was merely the latest of the squad to hit their metaphorical wall. _If anything,_ she helped soothe her ego, _I'm doing better than most._ Out of a class of thirty, eleven had already thrown in the towel and Papa's Communist Apocalypse drills had meant she was further from total collapse than many of her surviving comrades. That was of little consolation to her legs, however, _that just refused to fucking move._

Her boot hit a hard surface and with certain caution, Nora managed to balance herself. _Fuck yes._ Eyes flickering upwards, her Sergeant had already turned, shouting something about 'feckless maggots' and  'how in the sweet Jesus are we ever going to retake Anchorage at this rate'. Ignoring the protests of her body, Nora began her journey forward.

_Shit- fuck. No no no no no-_ Unwilling to part with her trapped leg, the mud held fast and, unable to catch herself, Nora felt herself slip forward into the mud.

  _This is how I die._ Nora contemplated, her inner dialogue far calmer than her flailing body would hint at as she slowly sank into the mud, face first. Sludge replaced the air and oxygen in her mouth and nostrils, her natural gag reflex only serving to speed up the suffocation process. Her thrashing petered off to a flounder and with a grim acceptance, Nora felt as any remaining fight left her limbs.

**_No._ ** _I can't. Not like this. Mama and Papa raised me differently. This can't be-_

She felt a tug from her pack and would've gasped had her mouth been clear. She felt increasing suction from her muddy tomb before a sickening squelch signalled movement. The ground parted and Nora felt as she was dragged upwards. She felt a solid mass connect with her shoulder and, instincts rebooting, scrambled her arms in a desperate bid to find purchase. Fingers digging into firm dirt, she wrenched herself from the miserable trench. Deeming herself safe for the moment, Nora allowed herself a choked spluttering as she reacquainted her lungs with fresh air.

A shape formed in her periphery. Frowning in concentration,  Nora followed what appeared to be a hand up its arm, to be met with an exhausted but encouraging face, white teeth grinning behind a thick coat of muck and heaven knew what else. Taking the hand, Nora stumbled to her feet. Coming face to face with her saviour, Nora squinted, recognising the man as a fellow recruit. Despite the bulk of his pack and fatigues, he still possessed the awkward gangliness  of youth, his long frame looking as shaky as Nora felt. It didn't dampen his spirit, however.

"Private Batty at your service. Well," he shrugged, and Nora swore she detected a rosy hue shining through the dirt on his face "Nathan. Nate to my folks." His smile was infectious and Nora found herself getting lost in his dark eyes, as deep as the mud around them but infinitely more warmer and enticing- _Stop it._

"Renshaw. N-Nora Renshaw." She managed to sputter out with a shy grin of her own. "C'mon," She nodded to their Sergeant in the distance. They weren't at the back of the pack just yet, but she had no intentions of falling back further. "Let's get going. Lead the way."

With a stuttered affirmative, Nate spun around, traipsing off after the troupe leader. Bracing herself, Nora followed suit, unable to stop her eyes from wandering to the Private's backside.

_Definitely a man I can get behind. Or in front of. Or in any position, really._

"What was that?" Nate turned his head, scraping out a wad of muck from his ear. Nora's heart leapt into her throat. _I didn't- No. Surely-_

"What? No. Nothing." Nora managed, jogging slightly to catch up with him. "Quick march soldier." She smirked at her companion. "Race you?"

 

* * *

 

"What the fuck is this shite?"

Cait rattled her knuckles off the screen, agitated. Her eyes flickered to Nora, unconscious on the lounger and couldn't quell the rumble of trepidation that gathered in her gut.

"Memories, dear." Irma responded distractedly, her own gaze glued to the images on screen.

"Yeah, but... it _can't_ be." Cait insisted, lifting a finger to her mouth and worrying a nail between her lips,  using her other hand to motion wildly to the pod. " _Look!_ It's... like a proper fuckin' army! The Brotherhood would shit themselves if they saw them!" She lapsed into silence, nerves tearing into her as a montage of images filtered across the screen. Shooting, bombs, defeats, victories and all involving that _twat face_  Private and his _stupid soppy grin_ and _big bastardin' puppy dog eyes._  Cait growled, and forced herself to pace. Anything to take her mind off of... _whatever it was_ that was happening to Nora.

"Why can't it be?" Irma queried softly, drawing Cait's attention. Glancing up at the woman, Cait stopped in her tracks and straightened. While Irma's stance hadn't moved, still slumped, one arm framing the top of the Pod screen,  her look cut Cait to the core and  the pit fighter couldn't help but fidget under such scrutiny. Her gaze wasn't accusatory, at least, but Cait wasn't sure if she preferred the odd mixture of emotions on the elder woman's face that she couldn't quite decipher. She swallowed thickly.

"Because..."

Irma's  gaze was unwavering.

"Because?"

" _Because!"_ Cait growled, irritated. "Because armies don't exist anymore. Not like that. She's read a book or, or seen a vid down in that Vault or some shite. It's not real, what she's  rememberin'. It's just a story."

"We're all stories, honey." Irma levelled. _All calm and sanctimonious and smug._ Cait wanted to punch something. _But Nora wouldn't want that._ Clenching her jaw, Cait resumed her pacing. _Fucking Nora._

"See? This doesn't look like a vid, or a Vault, for that matter."

Anxious curiosity getting the better of her, Cait came to stand next to Irma, finding a renewed interest on what was playing on the screen. Looking at her reflection, was Nora. _And by god,_ Cait swallowed, _she's beautiful._

_And not rough n' ready to fuck beautiful, like usual._ But radiant. Lacking some of her more recent stress lines and hints of grey in her hair, was a younger Nora, dressed in an immaculate white gown, practically glowing despite obvious nerves and unable to banish the excited grin that splayed across her face.

It was only then Cait's eyes began to roam and take in the rest of the picture. Behind Nora, in what must've been some old fashioned, immaculate ( _it was Nora. Of course it was immaculate)_ bedroom, stood two other woman that Cait had to assume was her mother and sister; merely time shifted versions of Nora herself and where her Vaultie was giddy with excitement, the other two were beaming with pride, themselves tarted up in what Cait had only seen hanging in the more exclusive section of Fallon's Basement.

Her attention was drawn directly back to Nora with a gasp, however, as the bride moved her bouquet to reveal a delicate yet definite bump in her wedding dress. Eyes flicking away from the screen, Cait instead moved them up to the face of her companion, a sickening uneasiness flaring in her stomach once again.

_This. She didn't want this. To be seen. To see._ Whether _she_ referred to herself or Nora, Cait wasn't entirely sure. All she knew was that the queasiness in her gut was growing. And Cait always trusted her gut.

"Stop this. Now"

"I can't."

"What d'you mean you can't!? Just fuckin'... unplug her or something!"

" _We can't._ She's in too deep now. We need to wait until she returns to a shallower form of unconsciousness. And look, her diagnostics are _fine._ She's safe. _And,_ " Irma rounded on her, ire growing and finger wagging, tempting Cait to simply snap it right there and then. " _She agreed to this_. I am not her mother. Your friend is a grown woman. She is entitled to her own decisions. To take her own risks."

"And did you _explain_ those risks to her?" Cait advanced on the woman, only tempering her tone as Nora flinched on the lounger below. "This ain't the shit she likes people knowin'. For old feckers to sit and listen in on like there some _damned radio play!"_

"Yes, well," Irma straightened, her face twisting at the rebuke. "We offer a service here. And we're not so careless with our clients." Her tone lost some of its edge, but Irma remained indignant. "I've seen them all, dear. I know her type. Her fortitude. Her conviction. I would not have let your friend partake if I didn't think she couldn't handle it."

"Yeah? Well I'm not so sure." Cait said with a grit jaw, hands on her hips as she finally backed off the woman. She shook her head as she found a new fascination in the toe of her boot. She _knew_ this was a bad idea as soon as she set foot in the place. _I should've nipped this in the bud sooner._

As if on cue to prove her right, the pod began beeping alarmingly, as Nora  grimaced within.

"What is it? What's happening!?" Cait demanded, rushing to her friend's side, placing a hand on the glass above her head.

"It-It's an emotional memory." Irma responded, trying her hardest to hide the harried undercurrent in her tone as she rapidly navigated Nora's various readings. Her eyes flashed up to the screen and her posture relaxed, a small smile finding its way onto her lips. "Look."

Glaring at the woman, Cait came back round to view the screen.

_Oh. I've never seen anything like this before._

 

* * *

 

_Drugs were a wonderful thing._ The pain which had been tearing her apart from below the waist was fading. _Thank God._ There remained a dull ache that pulled and twisted from within, but it was leagues more manageable than the fire and sharp searing sting from before. Now everything was hazy and fluffy. _Why am I here again._

Her body convulsed. _Oh. Right._ Glancing up Nora barely acknowledged the man in white coat at the foot of her bed, instead putting the majority of her willpower in not kicking the bastard in the face for looking at her unmentionables currently on display.

A strong, firm hand squeezed her own, drawing her attention. Looking to her left, Nora caught Nate's eye, his face half as sweaty but twice as panicked as hers. He muttered small encouragements and reassurances under his breath and Nora was certain it was more for his benefit than hers. He gave a nervous grin, but, oddly, it was the excited gleam in his eyes that calmed her. _It was going to be okay. Nate was back, and he wasn't going to war again. Momma and Papa were en route, as fast as Papa's pick-up truck could chug. Oh Dear Lord. This was actually happening._

Nora gave a shocked gasp as the tension that had been building in her lower abdomen gave way, leaving an odd emptiness in its wake. Silence fell and Nora looked to her husband for reassurance. An anxious beat. Nora swallowed, fear beginning to gnaw at her. _No no, fuck. No-_

The most glorious wail shattered the quiet and the married couple couldn't help the beaming grins that blossomed on their faces. Nora allowed her head to fall back onto the pillow, snuggling into Nate as he leaned in to peck her forehead, gross, sticky sweat be damned.

The doctor approached them with a squirming bundle, placing it in Nora's arms. Her heart caught in her throat. _He was... everything._ A fire bloomed within her, fierce and protective. The baby blinked up at her with inquisitive eyes, as deep and warm as his father's.

_Oh wow._ She brought a thumb up, gently stroking the small cleft in his lip. It would need surgery, but they already knew that. _Another thing inherited from Dad. Her boy's will having matching marks._ Regardless, he was perfect. She swallowed. Gently, a hand joined hers, stroking the child's fuzzy head; scarred, calloused fingers delicately stroking the boy's forehead, as if terrified of harming the child. _Like he ever would._ She gave a snort, glancing back up to Nate. He met her gaze with his own, beaming and teary-eyed. _He always was a big softie._

Nora felt the bed dip as her husband came to sit beside her, gingerly wrapping an arm around the two. Leaning into his embrace, Nora gave a contented sigh. She had her family and heaven help anyone who dared come between her and her boys. _This felt right. This felt... perfect._ _And,_ she reasoned, _it only had a little to do with the drugs coursing through her veins._

 

* * *

 

"Ooh." Irma murmured with interest. "That looks like... Milton General?" She let out a low whistle. "Looks like she _is_ from before the war. But look at her skin!" She allowed her eyes to wander over the Vaultie's face. "What _is_ her secret?"

" _What!?"_ Cait growled, rounding on the woman. "Where you not payin' attention? Fuck the hospital. _She has a family!"_ Irma glanced at the pit fighter.

"Lots of people have families, dear."

"No! But- Not like-" Cait flustered, glaring at the hostess. Nora had never mentioned a family. She hadn't mentioned much, now that Cait thought about it. Not that she had asked, of course. _Maybe I should've-_

She swallowed down the guilt, feeling increasingly uncomfortable with where this was heading. Her gut was screaming at her now. _Eject. Abort. Fuckin' Stop._

"Right, quit this, _now._ Get her out of there. This has gone too fuckin' far."

"We can't, honey, she's in too deep right now. She'll need to wake on her own. And besides," She continued, firmer, as Cait opened her mouth to object once again. "She paid for this. She _wanted_ this. Let her have it."

Cait's jaw clenched. She trusted Nora. She did. And there wasn't many she could say that about.  But this was new territory they were enterin', and Cait didn't like being a voyeur, peeking in from the outside without Nora's knowing.

But there was nothing she could change now. Nora was locked in and she was along for the ride. All she could do was make sure this didn't all blow up in their goddamn faces.

 


	4. To Bleed A Wound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lateness, I fell down a rabbit hole and I'm now Grade-A Clexa trash and ugh its so good with the kissing and the fealty and the puppy eyes and the bad ass fighting and oh my wow, my heart hurts with all this perfection.
> 
> this is part two of what originally was a mega chapter, so I would probably suggest going back and refreshing for it to make the most sense.

_"Relax._ You're gonna knock 'em dead at the Veteran's Hall tonight, hon. They're all gonna be so jealous of me, walking in with the hottest field medic turned attorney ever on my arm."

Nora met Nate's gaze in the bathroom mirror as he came behind her, the smirk at her lips betraying her otherwise flat expression.

"Implying any of the eyes will be on me, when _I_ walk in with the decorated war hero legend I sometimes call my husband?" She leaned back into his embrace before glaring at his reflection. " _field medic turned attorney?_ That's an awful specific title."

"You're an awfully specific woman." Nate bent, turning Nora's chin slightly to place a soft kiss on her mouth, before ending with a cheeky nip of her lower lip. "And you know me. Only the best for the best. That's us. Power couple!"

Unable to stop the chuckle that escaped her lips, Nora turned in Nate's arms, stretching up ever so slightly to meet his lips once again. Her tongue teased at his lips, before peeking inside, gaining access to his mouth. A pleased hum coiled in her throat as she slid her arms up, fingers coming to tangle themselves in Nate's hair, grown out from his last tour and still ruffled with sleep. She grinned as her husband responded with a surge, grabbing her hips and pushing her against the lip of the sink.

A wail tore through the house. Nate pouted into the kiss but loosened his grip, causing Nora to snort, unwilling to let her husband go just yet. The tell tale purr of a propulsion unit eased the creep of worry in Nora's mind, allowing her to continue enjoying Nate's... _attributes_ a few moments longer, before a familiar British twang echoed over the cacophony.

"Sir? Mum? From the tracking of my vocal harmonics package, I believe young Master Shaun is requiring attention in the parental department. Save the lingering nastiness of the ear infection, he seems otherwise in optimal condition!"

Pulling back slightly, Nate gazed down at her imploringly with large, pleading eyes. _Those goddamn eyes. Every time._ She smirked up at him, knowing what was coming next.

"Y'know what they say; Mommy _does_ in fact know best."

"More like Daddy wants to gussy up his reflection some more."

"Daddy doesn't need to gussy up. _Daddy_ just wants to admire the rugged hunk of manliness that appears in the mirror every morning."

"Well, Mommy will save her admiring for after the Veteran's Hall and Baby Boy is having a sleep over with Grandma. After that," She slipped around Nate, letting her breath tickle the shell of his ear. "I'm going to admire you, like, _so hard."_ She flicked his earlobe with the tip of her tongue and left him snorting and giggling into the mirror like a school girl.

Her devious smirk and self satisfaction melted into something much more soft as she entered her son's room. She gave a sympathetic coo as she leaned over the side of the crib, only to be met with Shaun gurning, his pout as pitiful and painfully endearing has his father's next door. _I really shouldn't encourage this behaviour in my boys,_ Nora sighed inwardly, even as she picked up her son, cradling him to her chest. She'd rue the decision later, she was sure, but for now she couldn't deny the squirming bundle of love in her arms.

 

* * *

 

Closing the front door, Nora let out a sigh of relief. Fussy children were certainly good for some things, especially when it came to pushy salesmen that would not take no for an answer. She lowered her head slightly, touching her lips to the top of Shaun's head.

"Good boy. Excellent team work right there."

"Oh come on!" Nate teased, letting his head loll back against the sofa, staring up at the pair with _that_ insufferable grin. "It wasn't that bad! It's future proofing!"

"Future proofing? Isn't that what you called that basement you helped the Henderson's build two doors along? The one that you could live in for a thousand years? That flooded three weeks later?"

"It doesn't matter whether you succeeded or failed. Just that you tried. _Reckless optimism,_ sweetie. It's fun sometimes. You should try it."

Nora scoffed in good humour.

"You have enough of that for the both of us. I'm just lucky you can reach all the way back down to the ground and sweep me off my feet with it."

"And I'm lucky you're there to stop my wings getting to close to the sun."

"Flatterer."

"I try."

Blushing, Nora opened her mouth to rebut her husband, stopping however, as the flickering television caught her attention in the corner of her eye.

" _We do have... coming in... confirmed reports. I repeat, confirmed reports of nuclear detonations in New York and Pennsylvania. My God."_

 

* * *

 

_Oh fuck, this is happening._

Nora took several deep, measured breaths, attempting to calm herself.

_Fucking calm myself? The fucking world is fucking ending up there. How in the fuck can I **calm** myself?_

She cut the dangerous thoughts from her mind, choosing to focus on Shaun in her arms, restless, as if sensing his mother's fear. _No. Not like this. For Shaun._ **_Relax._**

She felt the panic drain somewhat after forcing her mind to narrow down to her Son's needs. Feeling an arm tighten around her shoulders,  she glanced up to see a similar tangle of emotions warring in her husband's eyes. She leaned into him, as if to transfer what little strength she had to him.

 _We're together. A unit. We can do this._ Her mind went back to her conscription days. _We've glared down the barrel of death itself and came out laughing. We were unstoppable back in the day. Survivors. No matter the odds. **This is no different.**_

The tension eased slightly in her muscles, confidence slowly returning. _Of course they were going to do this. They were the Power Couple._ She gave a half hearted snort. _As long as we have each other, we can get through this._

As the lift came to a grinding halt, Nate and Nora joined the growing queue, with Shaun lightly bouncing on his mother's hip, now pacified and blissfully unaware of the goings on around him, gurgling animatedly.

They were processed in a timely fashion, Nora finally relenting her hold of Shaun when ordered to change into her new Vault Suit, before being ushered down a warren of hallways before coming to an ominous room, lined with pods and a notably cooler temperature than the higher tunnels.

"W-What _is_ all this?"

"Oh, don't be alarmed, ma'am," The doctor leading them replied over his shoulder. "This is a state of the art facility, we just need to round off a few medical items before we _crack on_ with orientation!"

Nora's face wrinkled, oddly still feeling ill at ease with the situation. She shook her head. _So much is happening. Just let the man do his job._

All Vault inhabitants were escorted to their own personal pod, Nora shown to one directly opposite Nate. Going to step back, she paused as Shaun began to cry once more, this time a painful wail as he grabbed futilely for his mother. Her heart clenched. Nate bent down to kiss Shaun's head. "It's alright buddy, Mommy's just over there." Hurrying forward, Nora made calming, shushing sounds, stroking the child's cheek with her thumb, urging her son to be at ease.

"C'mon. Who's my little man? I'm not going far baby."

Shaun's cry fell to a whimper as he continued to watch his mother pleadingly with large, tear filled eyes. Returning to her pod, it took all Nora's self control not to burst out once more, clutch Shaun to her chest and never let go. _This is just temporary. Come on. Get it together._

She swallowed thickly, bile rising in her throat as the door descended, reducing her vision to the porthole window. Across the way, she smiled as Nate pointed her out to Shaun, taking the child's small fist in his hand, making him wave to her as she did in return.

Massaging the ring on her finger, Nora frowned as the pod grew unnaturally cold. Panic tried to flare within her but her body refused, so tired. The view in front of her frosted as the world went white around her.

 

* * *

 

"Amari! Initiate the Evac Sequence! Get her out of there!"

" _What!?"_ Cait spun on the woman, who had taken to furiously pacing the small area in front of the screen. "You said it was too dangerous? Unstable!?"

" _I didn't realise it would be like this!"_ She shot back, exasperated, guilty, panicked. "I didn't know- I didn't realise- She- I- How many people do you know who saw the bombs fall? _Who isn't an irradiated husk!? Amari!"_ She barked. "Hurry it up!"

"I-I can't" The doctor responded from upstage. "Her heart rate is spiking, vitals unstable. The memory sequence is nearing its conclusion. There's only one way out now."

A new, naked, numbing sort of fear gripped Cait. She had never faced a problem she couldn't solve by fucking or fighting. But this. There was nothing she could do about _this_.

_Should'a listened to me bastardin' gut. Fuck._

She approached the glass her friend was trapped under, breathing heavily and with a sheen of sickly sweat painting her face. She rapped gently, afraid she might hurt Nora with her usual strength.

"Nora? Boss? C'mon. It's me. It's-" Her voice caught in her throat, eyes welling uncomfortably. "It's gonna be okay. We just need you to come back to us. Please." Her voice tightened painfully, so she could only manage a whisper. "I won't leave ya. Promise."

_Fuck._

 

* * *

 

She came to rather fuzzily. Still as horribly cold as before. There was a rapping that was there but not there. As if both in her head, but an actual, definite sound. Alarmed voices mumbled just out of the range of understanding.

**_Manual Override Initiated. Cryogenic Stasis Suspended._ **

She remembered why she was here. What was happening.

_Oh no. Oh god no. I can't watch this. Not again._

Her hands rattled feebly off her glass prison. There were people at the end of the pod hallway, she strained to get a better look at them. To remember.

One man stood out, bald and in what looked like a leather jacket.

_Who are you? How could you be a part of this._

_Who are you?_

Her vision re-entered on Nate and Shaun in the pod opposite, sluggishly returning to consciousness. She felt her stomach roil.

_It should've been me. Why didn't they take me?_

She could only watch in horror as the jacketed man pointed to the pod with his gun. She wanted to scream. Tried to. But her muscles refused to cooperate and only an anguished croak escaped her.

_Why are you doing this?_

Nate's pod opened with a hiss, her husband coughing as he regained his senses.

"Is it over? Did we win?"

One of the masked strangers reached for Shaun. Nate held strong however, looking as enraged as Nora felt.

_No, no no!_

The jacketed man raised his pistol.

"Let the boy go. I'm only going to tell you once."

There was a scuffle. And a gunshot. Nate slumped backwards, the masked stranger immediately moved to cradle Shaun. Nora's heart tore from her chest.

" _Oh dear God!"_ A muffled voice sounded from inside her head. The cacophony of fuzzy voices returned, more alarmed than ever, causing Nora's breath to quicken and chest to tighten further. Amidst the indistinguishable harried tones, she heard a firmer voice, calmer. With an Irish lilt. Nora stilled, finding a modicum of solace in the voice's soothing words. Always was _a sucker for an accent._ The voice gave her strength. She glanced back up toward Nate with a renewed determination.

_I promise... I'll find him._

The man approached her pod, sneering at her drunken state.

"At least we still have a back up." An ungodly rage flared through her body.

_You fucker. God damn it. I will **end** you._

_"Alright, we're nearing the end of the memory. Preparing for extraction. Child, please calm down. Your blood pressure is spiking-"_

 

* * *

 

 

She gasped back into the world of the living, scrambling from the pod the second the glass cage lifted. She didn't realise she was shaking until firm hands grasped her shoulders, forcing her to look up into Cait's concerned features. She still felt ready to explode, but she tried to ground herself, regaining control over her shivering frame.

"Easy there, sweetheart. Easy-" Irma went to place a comforting hand on her shoulder, but Nora flinched away, separating herself from Cait in the process.

"I'm so, so sorry, if I knew we were going to put you through that ag-"

"You- You saw?" Nora croaked, eyes darting nervously between Cait and Irma, dread filling her. _They knew. Oh God._

"Yeah." Cait managed, hating the tightness in her throat. Inwardly she cursed herself. _Knew this was going to happen. Fuckin' knew it. Why didn't you stop it._

"Oh." The Vaultie replied, colour draining from her face, bringing a hand to her mouth. She began shaking her head. "I-I need some fresh air. I gotta go."

Before Cait could extend a hand and grab for her, Nora had vanished through the entrance. A cold lead filled her stomach. _Fuck._ Unsure of how to respond further, she reverted to her old tactics, what was familiar. Turning back to Irma with a dark expression, she stalked towards the older woman until she towered over her, an accusing finger an inch from her chest.

" _You._ I _fucking_ told you."

For once, Irma looked contrite, remorseful.

"I-I didn't realise. If I knew that's what would happen-"

Cait could only scoff, dismissing the woman with  a scornful snort.

A frustrated growl escaping her, she turned, unable to face the woman any more. Anger coiled in her muscles as she glanced around, the urge to smash something, _anything_ , rising.

 _Nora wouldn't want that. It wouldn't solve anything._ She used the Vaultie's breathing techniques, forcing herself to remain civil.

"Look, I- I _am_ truly sorry. Here, take this." Cait turned back to the elder woman, only to be offered a small, hand written card. "His name's Nick Valentine. Best damn detective that ever walked the Commonwealth. If the boy's still out there, Nick'll find him."

Cait accepted the card. _It was a start, at least._ Sparing the woman one last nod, she left in pursuit of her friend.

 

* * *

 

How could she just vanish? _You'd think one of these goddamn tweaking fuckers would see a bright blue Vaultie running through?_

Having exhausted every inch of Good Neighbour, Cait turned, with trepidation, to the outskirts of East Boston. _She could be anywhere by now._ Exiting the Gate, she glanced around the deserted streets. Sighing, she chose a direction and began walking.

She crept silently through the streets of Boston, ears primed to pick up the faintest sound of life. In the distance, she heard an intermittent faint popping, not sharp enough to be a gunshot but certainly notable enough to keep her on edge.

So intent on following the sound, Cait nearly tripped, arse over tit, over the carcass of a Super Mutant she swore hadn't been there on their journeys to the Settlement that morning. Scanning the distance, she saw the remains of what must've been a Suicider and a littering of Raider giblets decorating the base of a hollowed out high rise. Approaching, the faint popping grew louder and noticing movement, Cait squinted upward.

Above, silhouetted against the sun, stood a figure, swinging a bat by the edge of the building. Judging by the path of entrails leading deep into the building, Cait was confident in her guess as to who the figure was. Bracing herself she entered the tenement, beginning her climb.

Reaching the roof, she let out a sigh of relief at the familiar Vault 111 Suit, launching small chunks of debris into the distance with precision hits from her trusty swatter. Nervously, Cait approached, making audible noise with her steps so as not to startle the Vaultie with her presence. She swallowed thickly.

"Y'made quite a mess on the way up here." She joked weakly, hoping to catch Nora's attention. The woman turned her head to acknowledge her, unable to stifle the haunted look in her eyes, before turning to pick up another can.

 _Not good... but not terrible. Shite._ She was never good at reading emotions, or at least, _these_ emotions. Bracing herself, she stepped forward, coming to stand shoulder to shoulder with her friend, surveying the landscape. A minute passed in silence before Cait turned to address the Vaultie.

"What you doin'?"

"Working out some stress." Nora responded tersely, though not unkindly. Cait pushed further.

"Certainly worked out somethin' on those poor bastards down below." Receiving a soft snort from Nora, she let out a relieved sigh.

"Yeah, well, can't say they didn't deserve it."

Another silence fell, this one less tense, more familiar, more relaxed. Cait watched idly as Nora swung through the remainder of her junk pile. Having nothing left to bat, Nora regarded her swatter, before tossing it to the ground, turning to take a seat on the vestiges of the Raider's encampment. Elbows on knees, she ran tired hands over her face before finally glancing up to Cait, still standing, observing her.

"How much did you see?"

"I-well..." Cait floundered, struggling to respond.

"All of it?"

"Every single bit." She admitted, quietly. Biting her lip, she came to sit opposite Nora, unsure of how to start.

"So."

"So."

"You're fella seemed like a good man."

A sad smile drifted over Nora's features, causing a painful pang in Cait's chest.

"He was."

"You don't get many of them around. Not these days."

"You don't."

Her stomach clenching, Cait grimaced. Best not to even mention the kid. Her jaw clenched. _Was never any good at this emotional shite._ Silence fell between the two once more.

"How- How do you do it?" She blurted out before she could stop herself, mortified. Nora only looked up at her, puzzled.

"Do what?"

Cait gave a weak shrug.

"Survive? Cope with that. Me fuckin' heart was in me mouth watchin' it. Can't imagine actually livin' it."

Nora rubbed at her face again.

"I-I just have to. I mean, we were both in the army. We went through the training. We had the talks. About either of us never coming back. Losing each other. We'd always been prepared for it, or at least, thought we were, in the back of our minds. _Especially after Anchorage."_ She added in a tired mutter, her head tilting up to look at the sky with a world weary sigh. "The training helped, but- _God."_ She shook her head. "Just didn't expect it to happen like that."

"But still," Cait pressed. "The bombs, to me, they're history, So old, like fuckin'... _before_ history. But that must've happened, what? a month ago for you?" Thoughts rattled through her mind. They had known each other a good few weeks. And Cait had _no idea_ about any of it. _But I should've._ Guilt bubbled within her core. " _Fuck._ I can't even imagine-"

" _Don't."_ Nora cut across her, frowning. "I don't need your pity."

"You're not gonna get my pity." Cait responded, softly, carefully. She mulled her next words over, struggling to properly articulate herself.

"Y'know," she forced herself to speak, eventually. "We've been on the road a bit now, together and we've taken some hard knocks. But," Cait paused, licking her lips thoughtfully. "But through all that crap, I noticed you've always been stickin' by me. Y'know, watchin' me back and makin' sure I do anythin' _too_ stupid."

Beside her, Nora merely watched, her brow knit gently in confusion, wondering just where her friend was going with this line of thought. Pressing on, Cait swallowed, her nerves determined to get the better of her.

"I think maybe it's time to tell you a little bit about who you're travellin' with, exactly. Think we're a bit passed Strangers, don't you?"

"You don't owe me anything, Cait. Please, don't feel like you have to do this."

" _No_ ," Cait hurried in response, before taking a steadying breath. "No. I-I _want_ to." And she did. Taking a few more seconds to compose herself, she gave a deep sigh before continuing.

"I guess it all starts with two wastes of humanity I suppose you could call me parents." She gave a bitter laugh. " Actually, I'm convinced I was a mistake, 'cause I can't remember a single moment that they treated me like their daughter. I was yelled at and beaten. Everythin' I did was wrong. Nothin' but a nuisance in their eyes. Whole time I was tellin' meself that they _had_ to love me, even if it was just the tiniest bit, seein' as they never kicked me out. I tried to run away, twice, just t'see how they'd react. They _did_ come after me. First time, they locked me in the shed outside. Second time... they broke one of me legs. Didn't think much of it, back then. Thought it was just another one of those things that happened." Her face soured. "Too stupid to know any different."

Cait gave a small sigh, squirming slightly. She had never spoken about this with anyone. Even Tommy.

"Then me eighteenth birthday arrived, an' I found out why they kept me around. Th-They slapped a shock collar around me neck and sold me to slavers." She continued on, ignoring the small gasp from Nora opposite her. "Didn't even care enough about me to say goodbye." Familiar anger flared within her again. This emotion she could cope with.

" _Eighteen years_ of sufferin' through that _shite_ and all I was worth to them was a pocketful of caps."

"Dear God," Nora muttered, looking genuinely distressed as her eyes pierced Cait, making the fighter shiver, as if her very soul was under inspection. She shook her head, nerves rattling her slightly.

"Thank you, but no pity parades, right?" She glanced back up at her friend, repeating Nora's earlier sentiment back at her. Her gaze returned to her boots as she continued.

"It'd be easy to blame me _charmin' personality_ on me parents. But they didn't make me this way. I did. I was with those slavers for five years. Roughest five of me goddamn life. The... _things_ they made me do..." The memories felt like a poison seeping through her system, but she persevered. _There is a point to all this. For Nora. Get angry again. Angry is easy._

"They used me for their amusement. It _sickens_ me to my stomach even thinkin' about it." She spat the last words out as the images scorched across her mind. "But I bided me time, learned to use their own methods against 'em." She smirked. "Stealin' a few caps out of a sleepin' man's pocket is a piece of cake... as long as you don't get greedy."

Abashed, her eyes flickered up to Nora's, as if searching for some kind of approval. Instead she caught the Vaultie's gaze, following Cait's every word intently. There was a squirreling in her gut. No one had ever given her such undivided attention. Cait didn't know whether to feel relieved or even more shitty than she already was. She lapsed into silence, watching carefully as Nora made to open and close her mouth, about to respond but thinking better of it at the last second. Eventually, She shrugged her shoulders with an exasperated sigh.

"I-Jesus, I can't even imagine having through something like that.

 _What? Seriously? You just watched your family, your world get torn a-fuckin'-part for the second time and you can't imagine the world is filled with bastards?_ An indignant fury attempted to swarm her emotions. _She's taking the utter piss out of you. Fuckin' **mockin'** you, the bitch._

 _No,_ She argued back. Nora wouldn't. She wasn't like that. _She'd yank your chain, but in good humour, like. She wasn't malicious._ She wasn't vindictive. The Vaultie was too straight laced and serious for her to be teasing Cait here. Looking back into Nora's sympathetic eyes, Cait took solace in the quiet intensity she found there, encouraging her to continue.

"It took every ounce of patience I had, but after five years, I had finally pocketed enough to buy me own way outta there. But instead of headin' off to try an' repair the shambles of me life, I gave in to my rage and headed home." She snorted bitterly. "You can imagine the look on me parents face when I kicked open their door." Her voice dropped. "What you can't imagine is what they looked like after... after I emptied me gun into them." The confession, which she had always been darkly proud of before, now tasted like ash leaving her mouth. She worried about Nora's reaction, which, right now, consisted of an odd look, a certain gleam in her eye that Cait didn't know how to take.

"Sounds like justice to me." When she spoke, Nora's tone was dripping with contempt and Cait realised what it was that bothered her about her friend's demeanour. Nora was warm and kind and welcoming. Not sour and seeping a cold fury, like Cait. She was better than that. Her response was quiet, doubtful.

"Was it justice? Or was it just murder?" She shook her head. "When I close me eyes, all I can see is their faces _twisted_ with fear. And then, me mind starts wanderin'. I start judgin' myself. It's been rippin' me the fuck apart ever since." Her gaze returned to her friend, hollow, pleading for Nora to understand.

"Look, you're not stupid. I've seen the way you look at me. You _know_ what I do even when I try to hide it. You think I inject myself with all that shite and dink myself drunk 'cause I'm a _tough Irish girl?_ Please." She took a shuddering breath, unable to look Nora in the eye any longer. "I do it so I can forget and move on with me miserable life."

"So there you are," she muttered bitingly. "The entire flawed package known as Cait, stripped bare for your perusal."

 _Fuck._ She had came in search of Nora in the hopes of offering her comfort, guidance. Instead she'd probably just pushed her further away, fucking up what little they had in the first place. _Once again, you've royally fucked it. Great job, Cait._

"Hey," Nora spoke forcefully, a nudge at Cait's knee prompting her to glance back upwards to see Nora frowning, determined and as endearingly earnest as she usually was. Cait's heart fluttered with hope. "I'm _proud_ of you."

Cait recoiled slightly, taken aback. She was waiting on a thousand things coming out the Vaultie's mouth. _That_ was not one of them. She gave a nervous huff of laughter.

"I knew I was takin' a chance tellin' you all this, but I never expected you to say you were proud of me." There was a painful tightness in her throat. "I-I think I needed to hear that from you. Thank you."

Nora continued to survey her friend, her determined gaze unrelenting. A hand placed itself lightly on her knee.

"I'm always here for you, Cait. There's nothing you could say that would _ever_ change that."

Cait startled, blushing furiously.

"Oh!... Umm, well... that's... that's not what I expected you to say." _Fuck._ She didn't mean to cut herself open like this, leave herself so _raw._ She didn't like it, she decided. But any anger in her refused to flare. She was too drained to put up anymore of a fight. Sighing, she gave a wan smile.

"Sorry, I didn't realise you cared that much about me. An' here I thought I was bein' stupid botherin' you with me problems. It-It feels good to know if I need you, you'll be there for me," She conceded, feeling all the more reinvigorated for it. "And I'll always be there for you too." She shook herself, ridding herself of this mawkishness, locking it away deep. For now, at least.

"Look, I saw what you went through back there in the Den. Him, _them._ I-I've never had someone to love me like that, someone _to_ love like that. I'm not saying I know what you must've gone through, 'cause I don't,"

"But what I _do_ know is anger. What it is to have hate like that bubblin' inside you, demandin' revenge. Your own pound of flesh. _That_ I can help with.  But I won't let this hate eat you up. I'm not going to lose you to it, have it chip away at ya 'til there's nothin' left. _You're a good person, Nora._ Never lose sight of that. Together, we'll get our own back at the bastard, give him what's long been comin' to him. We'll get your boy back. We'll avenge your man. Now we know what we're lookin' for, we can keep movin'."

"Do we?" Nora interjected, defeated, beaten. It was not a look that suited her, Cait decided. She would change that.

"We do. Here," She passed over the small card in her hand. "That old bint gave me that, address for Valentine's Detective Agency. No finer Dick in the Commonwealth, apparently. We've got a lead, Nora. _We can do this._ "

Her heart warmed with relief as a small smile found its way onto Nora's lips. Pocketing the card, the Vaultie stood and with a short nod to her companion, the pair began their journey off the roof, back down to street level. A pregnant silence fell between the pair as they continued, making Cait increasingly uncomfortable the further they descended. This whole day had been far too emotionally charged, in her opinion.

"So," She started, "You're a golden oldie, then? From the good ol' days?" She snorted. "The Common Wealth must look like an utter shite hole to you."

"I dunno," Nora gave a small shrug, flashing a devilish smirk in Cait's direction. "It has _some_ redeeming qualities."

Cait had to laugh at that. "Like what?"

"Well, not _every_ inhabitant of the Greater Boston area is a _complete_ shit stain on humanity." Cait felt as Nora's eyes burned into her side. "And hey, some of 'em aren't too bad to look at, either."

Cait's face flushed and unable to string a coherent sentence together, lapsed into silence once more. Her mind drifted back to the night before, and the memory  she _knew_ was going to haunt her for some time to come.

"So, hey, is that why, like, last night?" She motioned to her chest awkwardly, groping the air just in front of her. Nora's return smile was tinged with sadness even as an embarrassed blush crept along her cheeks.

"Yeah." Another soft shrug. "Shaun is out there. I don't know what they're feeding him. _If_ they're feeding him." She gave a forlorn sigh. "He needs me. And I'm not there for him."

In response, Cait placed what she hoped was a comforting hand on the Vaultie's shoulder.

"We'll get him back. I promise." She waited a second. "And besides," She shoved Nora mischievously, who shot her a playful glare in return.

"On the bright side, it's given ya a killer rack."

 


	5. From Ashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow. How fast a month flies when you're working 60 hour weeks. Sorry about that folks. No promises but no other chapter should take this long.
> 
> This one was a weird one for me. I've just attended my fifth funeral this year and I'm kind of getting sick of all this death. This month in particular has been super awful and left me with a lot of introspection. It's actually been pretty cathartic writing this chapter. I hope it comes across good in the writing.
> 
> Also it's a big 'un. Soz (Not soz). xox
> 
> Side note; Rereading my last Note regarding t1OO. HAHAHA these arent tears im not crying ur crying shut up.

She felt the hair on her head whip in response as another bullet whizzed past her head, pinging off the metal wall behind her. She cursed before popping her shotgun out and letting off a warning round. She glanced across at Nora, currently ducked behind her own makeshift barrier, reloading her rifle. Cait raised her voice over the din.

"Here, remind me why we're takin' on these arseholes again?"

"Because," The Vaultie shouted, standing, and in one smooth motion popping off five shots from her rifle, dropping five Raiders in succession before ducking back down. "Preston said there was a settlement that needed our help."

"And what is he doin' to _help_ , exactly?"

Nora gave a nonchalant shrug as she peeked out once more to attack.

"He marked it on my map for us."

Cait couldn't stop the groan escaping her throat or her eyes rolling to the back of her head. Leaping from her own cover, she charged the one remaining Raider, barrelling him to the floor before discharging her shotgun, only averting her face to avoid the worst of the blood spray as his head exploded into giblets. She sighed, making an effort to get to her feet as Nora came to stand beside her.

"You're too fuckin' nice, Princess. Y'need to let bastards deal with their own feckin' problems instead of doin' everythin' for 'em."

"That ain't the way Momma raised me."

"Oh, right, back on the farm with just those fucked up Brahmin and goats to keep you company?"

Nora paused, brow knit in amused contemplation.

"Are you trying to say I fucked goats back on the farm?"

"No, _Princess_." Cait shot back, smirking, patting her friend patronisingly on the cheeks. "Merely implyin' it. Anyways, all I'm sayin' is, you don't get somethin' for nothin' out in the Common Wealth. Sooner people realised that and looked after them an' their own, the better. You're altruistic shite ain't helpin' anyone in the long run."

"What can I say, Cait? That's just the way I roll."

"Aye, well, your head'll be rollin' too if you're not careful."

"Is that a promise?" Nora responded with a waggle of her eyebrows. Cait merely snorted in response, deciding to drop the subject. The Vaultie could be bloody pig-headed stubborn at times and it only made Cait apprehensive about their future. They weren't going to save this Shaun if they got themselves killed by a pack of ghouls some settlers were too pussy to take on themselves.

After their little bonding session days ago, little had been discussed in terms of Nora's past life, save from the occasional jab about hair curlers and being older than Mama Murphy. They had ventured into Diamond City, but apart from running into a delightful news reporter who could start an argument in an empty room, they had left empty handed. The effervescent Detective Valentine they had heard so much about, appeared to be in high demand, currently off in some shite hole corner of the Wastes solving the confounding mystery of the missing Sweet Roll, or some bollocks.

As it stood, Nora, being her antsy self, refused to sit on her arse and wait for the man, before taking off again into the Common Wealth, touching in at her twee home base of Sanctuary. It was there Cait had the absolute (she nearly gagged on the word) _pleasure_ to meet Preston, the rhinestone cowboy come to life. She didn't think it was possible to meet a bleedier heart than Nora but the man's sanctimonious bleating made her want to rip her ears off.

And so they found themselves here, up to their arses in irate Raiders and a farming settlement of ghouls with their thumbs up their collective shiters. After a few ingratiating _thank yous_ and _my heroes_ that Cait struggled not to laugh at because declarations of adoration didn't buy ammo or chems for livin', didn't fertilize crops for eatin' or purify water for drinkin'. But Nora accepted it and they were on their way.

The waning afternoon sun left an irradiated glow over the landscape, making the rusty bucket of an upturned train gleam in the distance. Nora perked up, a note of intrigue escaping her, causing Cait to stiffen in alarm. She followed the Vaultie as they made quick pace to the Carriage, With only Nora's muttered _No's_ and _Surely not's_ to break the silence.

Choosing to bypass the rusty cage's lock by putting her boot through the rusty cage's eponymous rusty cage, Nora stepped inside. Cait perked her ears as she heard a stunned gasp come from within.

"Ha ha! Oh my sweet Jesus, Mary and Joseph. That's... It's. Oh, _wow._ "

"What is it?" Cait jogged to join her on the other side of the carriage, moderately breathless at what treasures Nora had discovered. By the sounds of it, she'd found her feckin' son, hidden under a fence for the past two hundred years.

"It's," The Vaultie took a deep breath, " _Power Armour!"_

"Wait, what?" Cait's features scrunched, feeling herself physically deflate.

"Yeah!" Nora breathed, unperturbed by Cait's attitude. "Just like we had back in the army! Man, these were my specialities. I could salvage any old shit and have it singing a gay old tune by nightfall.

" _gay old...?"_ Cait muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Jesus fuck, you _are_ from the feckin' stone age."

"What!?" Nora whined, finally catching on to Cait's tone. "These suits are awesome. Put one on a you feel, like... _invincible._ You could do anything. Bench press a car, arm  wrestle Liberty Prime, rip doors off their hinges-"

Nora paused, her eyes immediately darkening as her features fell in a deep contemplation. Cait winced. She much preferred the stupidly excitable puppy of a Vaultie to the morose and broody Nora. She refused to examine exactly _why_ she preferred the former, and fell back on the old _better for self preservation, better for me fuckin' sanity_ reasoning that had began to sound trite even in her own ears. Cait watched carefully as Nora jolted back to reality, replacing the mask of bouncy joviality over her features, but Cait still saw the lingering storm behind her eyes.

"C'mon Cait-Dog, let's get back to Sanctuary and I'll show you what I can make this puppy do."

 

* * *

 

 

The trek back home happened in mostly silence, Nora lost in her thoughts  inside that metal bucket and Cait growing increasingly irate with the hot haze that lingered even as twilight began to fade. Crossing the heavily turreted bridge, Cait picked up her pace, seeing one of her least favourite people approaching from up the street.

Flicking a two fingered gesture and muttered _Piss off Cowboy,_ Cait made a beeline for the patio turned dining area just around the corner, inordinately pleased at the offended scoff Preston made as she carried on past him.

Taking a table, she picked out two beers and waited for Nora to join her. She heard as the suit of Power Armour stomped around Sanctuary before the Vaultie found a resting place for it. Cait waited. She felt an odd nervousness grow with every passing second Nora failed to reappear.

 _In fairness,_ she attempted to reason with herself, _She didn't say she'd meet me at the bar. Didn't say much all day, t'be honest._ But that hadn't stopped her before. It had become their little ritual, a silly little domesticity that Cait found herself liking, even going so far as to tolerate the Settlers that came up to interrupt their sessions to pick at Nora's brain for whatever reason.

 _S'probably nothin'. Just tired. It has been a long day, likes. Must've just headed off to bed._ That didn't stop Cait from wrangling two steaks from the makeshift store, or taking Nora's now warm beer for herself only to immediately replace it with a fresh one.

Firing up the grill, she decided to distract herself by rustling up a meal. It wouldn't be up to Nora's usual panache but it'd be enough to fuel them 'til morning. As the steaks sizzled away, Cait watched as the darkest night fell, blotting out everything beyond the yellow glow of the Settlement's lamps.

She glanced down at the steaks, indecision striking her. _Where in fuck's name was Nora?_ Her mind drifted back to the train carriage, and the sudden change of demeanour in her friend. After the Memory Den, Cait felt confident the air had been cleared between the two, and, at least, all of Nora's skeletons were out in the open. Finally talkin' about her past would've opened up the Vaultie to grieve properly, Cait had thought. But between the sombre silences and obvious glances Nora had shot her when she thought Cait hadn't been looking, suddenly the Pit Fighter wasn't so sure.

Dashing back to Sheffield just as he was closing up shop, Cait had managed to sweet talk- _Alright, fuckin' extort. But I'll pay him back, honest-_ spices out of the man, and bolted back to her grilling station, hoping the added aroma would draw her Vaultie out of hiding.

It had worked, _Thank Christ._ As the steaks began oozing _just_ right, Nora appeared, looking adorably ruffled, motor oil streaked in splodges across her face and arms, and looking tired, but content. Cait breathed a sigh of relief.

"You're late." Cait chided, a soft grin on her lips. "Ya bastard." She added quickly, caught short by the gentle camber of her voice. Nora merely laughed, ruffling her hair further, avoiding the shaved side of her head that currently sported a healing gash from a bayonet that got a little too close for comfort.

"Sorry, _Ma._ " She gave a small shrug "Got caught up tinkerin' with my new toy. Didn't realise the time until it was only me and Sturges hammering away by lamplight. Honestly," she snorted, "That guy needs an off switch."

"Yeah, well," Cait frowned, noticing the dark circles around her eyes that Nora couldn't just blame on grease. "He's not the only one. Now," she set the plate down in front of her friend. "Eat."

"Ooh," Nora sniffed in the scents. "And what is on the menu tonight, chef?"

"Fresh cut Brahmin. Or, as fresh as Brahmin can be at any rate."

With a snort from Nora, they tucked in, only the sound of eating and the scrape of knives on plates interrupting the gentle hum of generators in the background.

"So, uh, I was thinking," Nora finally spoke, curiously hesitant for once. "Seeing as this Valentine isn't going to be back in Diamond City until the end of the week, we could probably take tomorrow off, Y'know? Just, like, hang around here, maybe? I know I've got a bit of housekeeping to do."

As casual as she tried to make it sound, Cait still heard the need for approval in Nora's voice. She shrugged.

"Sure, ain't like I got anything lined up in the diary." _And I could finally scope out that Trashcan woman. See if she's got any good stuff before Mama Murphy snorts it all up._

Mollified, Nora gave a small smile, finishing off the last of her dinner. Cait watched her out the corner of her eye, as Nora picked up her beer bottle, toying with the label. Deciding to give her friend an out, she stood, stretching with a groan.

"Well, think that's me for t'night then. Think I'll be hittin' the hay soon, after a quick nightcap."

Nora glanced up to her, a sad smile playing out on her lips.

"Yeah, it has been a long day. I won't be far behind."

Nodding, Cait stepped off the patio, before the thoughts mulling through her mind stopped her. With a weary sigh, she turned back around to glance at the Vaultie, who had idly renewed her interest in the beer bottle.

"Nora," She started, struggling to find her next words. " _Are you alright?_ You know ye' can speak to me 'bout anythin', yeah?"

"I do, Cait. And honestly, I'm fine. Just been doing a lot of thinking about stuff today."

"Because _that's_ not vague as shite." She snorted "Well, If you ever want to elaborate on what _stuff_ is, Y'know where t'find me."

With a small wave, Cait left, making for the ramshackle bar up the road where most of the settlers convened before calling it a night. If she was lucky, she'd find a party, or a fight. Or maybe both.

 

* * *

 

 _Jesus shite, me fuckin' head._ Cait groaned, rolling over in her bed in an effort to escape the sunshine creeping through her window. _Did I actually get in a fight last night? Fuck knows. Feels like it. Oh well. Hair of the dog an' all that._

Going through her morning routine, Cait waited for the chems to chase the grogginess out of her system. When it no longer felt like the light was going to make her head explode, she took a peek out the window. _Fuck me, what time is it?_ The sun was already high in the sky, normally Nora would have already been in and nudged her awake by this point. _Maybe she just wanted a lie in?_

Stretching the remaining stiffness out her bones, Cait set off in search of her friend. She quickly checked in to the local watering holes, only to come up short. She frowned. _Surely she's still not in her pit?_ It would definitely be strange for Nora, who was consistently up with the dawn. Around her, the rest of the Settlement was already up and working. As she passed them, a few settlers greeted Cait with a courteous nod, polite, long ago learning the woman wasn't one for small talk. Walking down the street, Cait glanced around. Despite the rundown, rusty DIY aesthetic of the place, she could picture Sanctuary not much different in Nora's day, before the war. She stepped to the side as a small child bombed passed, with Dog Meat in hot pursuit, playfully barking after the kid. She was never one for quaint, but Cait quickly found herself likening this snug little neighbourhood to something of a home. _Certainly more than anything that shitehole of a Combat Zone provided_ , _at any rate._

Reaching the house that was undoubtedly Nora's, all pristine and perfect, Cait knocked at the front door. She allowed herself a gentle snort. In Sanctuary, Nora was the only one to really bother with doors. While every family who had since arrived had claimed their own corner, decorating their house with what little amenities and possessions they had, The well kept garden and neat, ironed out walls gave Nora's house a properly _homey_ feel that Cait simply didn't get from any of the other structures.

Not receiving a response, Cait shouted out to Nora. After another moments silence, she cursed, grousing as she opened the door and entered the household. Idly, she realised she had never actually been inside Nora's abode. She was struck by what greeted her.

While still clearly run down thanks to two hundred years of nuclear and environmental degradation, Cait was struck by how warm and inviting the place felt. Rugs dotted the floor, and clear effort had been made in patching the fabric of the couches and repairing the wonky rust of the dining chairs and table. The shelves just to her left were lined with books and figurines, idle decorations that helped lighten the room. At the opposite wall stood a rack, filled to the brim with comics and magazines with a lunch box perched on top. The kitchen counters were _clean,_ for fuck's sake. Not uncluttered or tidy, but actually _brushed down gleaming._ Cait couldn't stop the laugh that escaped her. She even had a toaster and kettle, polished to precision, tucked away on the counter top.

Leaving the living area, she moved down the hall, peeking in the bathroom and Nora's room, still equally neat and tidy, but much more sparse in their decor. Coming up empty, Cait was left with one remaining option. Opposite Nora's room, lay the only other closed door in the settlement.

Sliding it open, Cait's breath caught in her throat. A child's crib stood proud in the middle of the room, varnished to perfection, a bright eggshell blue, topped off with a spaceship mobile dangling. Children's toys were stacked neatly on display. Proper children's toys, at that, not the disease infested, splintered toxic imitations that littered the Common Wealth. Walking up to the plush chair in the corner, Cait picked up the Jangles Monkey stuffed toy. She had seen this one before, They had found it at the old Trailer park just west of Sanctuary. It had been missing an eye and half the rotted fluff had seeped out of it, its fur matted with mud and feral ghoul mucus.

Looking at it now, however, save a few seams here and there, the thing looked fresh off the production line. Nora had even managed to imbue it with a soft scent unlike anything Cait had come across in the Common Wealth before, but was instantly, indescribably  _Nora._

She quickly returned it to its seat, afraid to dirty it with her... everything. Letting her eyes roam around the rest of the room, she tried to quell the growing pit in her stomach. Other objects caught her attention, building blocks she remembered Nora finding on their journeys, quietly adding them to her pack, odd lamps that had been broken junk when they had come across them half way across the Common Wealth, now restored to the point that if not for its unique shape, it would have been unrecognisable.

None of this was preserved. None of this could have survived the fallout all those years ago. No, it had all been lovingly rebuilt by someone. _Not fuckin' someone. Bloody Nora._ Suddenly it made sense why she would slink off at night, why she hoarded so much junk Cait wouldn't look twice at. She had never given it a second thought before. A now familiar guilt began roiling within her. _Should've paid more attention, dammit. Just how long had this been going on?_ This wasn't just one night's work. This was practiced. Methodical. _An obsession._ What had been going through her friend's head? _And all this time, you were just fuckin' worried about findin' your next high. You really are a piece of fuckin' shit. She deserves better than your sorry arse._

A dull pain flared in her chest, one she couldn't blame on the Psycho. _I need to find Nora._ She wouldn't just leave without her. She wouldn't just... disappear. _Not that I'd blame her._ Suddenly feeling sick and unwelcome in the house, Cait left, all but stumbling onto the street outside. Sitting on the front step, head in hands. Her jaw tight with tension, she couldn't help but breathe heavily as she fought a prickling in her nose. She had no idea where Nora would be. Evidently, she had no fucking clue how the woman was feeling. Fear and panic clawed at her insides, feeding off one another until Cait felt as if she was breaking. _Fuck fuck fucking fu-_

"Mademoiselle Cait?" She didn't glance up as Nora's new pet Miss Nanny model hovered towards her. "Are you alright? My data readings indicate severe stress not conducive to optimal-"

"I'm fine, Curie." Cait bit, before dialling in her tone, softening in ways of an apology. "I'm... fine."

"Forgive me for imposing, however my findings dictate that you are not within the parameters of what would be adequately described as _fine._ In humans, it has been shown that oral expression of mental distress can in some cases help in alleviating aforementioned issues." She paused. "Would you like to talk about it, Miss Cait?"

Cait glared up at the robot. She could do with punching something and Curie would put up a good fight. However, the urge to attack and fight left as quickly as it came. She sighed.

"Nah, Curie, I'll be fine, honest. I just need to think for a bit."

"Curious." the robot replied, her three eyestalks examining Cait as her neural circuits whirred in thought. "Miss Nora said likewise this morning. Perhaps the effects of emotional ennui are contagious? I shall file the hypothesis for further research."

"You saw Nora?" Cait perked up.

"Oui. This morning. She left Sanctuary at 06:42 with her T-45 Power Armour suit. She too seemed distressed and distant. It is most puzzling. Continued study of human psychology is required."

"Where'd she go?" Cait pressed, standing sharply, the spark of relief rejuvenating her.

"Up to Vault 111. She mentioned laying the past to rest. I am ashamed to admit I did not fully understand her intent." Her visual receptors blinked, downcast. "I offered her my assistance however she refused, saying it was something she must do herself." The robot met Cait's eyes.

"However I believe it would be in her best interest if someone was there to assist her."

Cait grinned, her mind set. Setting off towards the Vault, she turned back to the robot.

"Curie, if you had lips, I'd kiss them, An' I ain't fussy which ones!"

"Oh." The robot startled, inspired. "A very human behaviour. One I again do not fully understand." She rotated, setting off back towards the cul de sac. "Perhaps Monsieur Codsworth, in all his years above ground, has data he is willing to share. For science. Of course."

 

* * *

 

Despite the Power Armour taking the brunt of the weight, collecting and preparing the stack of logs had been tiresome work. It had taken five hours to get everything set up correctly. Now, sitting on the floor of the cryo-chamber of Vault 111 with the empty suit standing guard, Nora let the cool air of the tunnel wash over her as she caught her breath.

_Breathless. Yeah. That's why you're not saying a damn thing._

She glanced up at the pod opposite her. Once more, she tried to find words, anything to break the oppressive silence, but her thoughts kept get tangled up in one another, an array emotions warring for control of her body.

"I love you. You know that right?"

She left a gap for a response. None came. Not that she expected one. She was a practical person. They both were. Still, a small part of her hoped. For something. Anything. It had been six weeks now, since her world had turned upside down. She had always been level headed, realistic. It had been one thing Nate had always said he admired about her, one thing that had drawn him to her in Basic, before they even knew each other.

Nora wouldn't say it had gotten easier, these past six weeks. If she sat down and _thought_ about, as she often did because, hell, there wasn't much else left to do at night in the Wastes, it cut at her, fresh, like it had just happened yesterday. In the beginning, she felt as if her heart might rip in two if she wasn't careful. Now? She had merely learned to live with it. The shock had dulled, but the pain was still sharp. Her mind boggled at never hearing his voice again. At never having a conversation with him again. At never seeing his smile, his laugh. Her body simply refused to believe it.

Especially now, looking at him, in his pod. The shot in his chest hadn't even had time to bleed properly, congealing seconds after stasis was reinitiated, leaving a neat black mark which could be mistaken for a suit decoration. He looked asleep. She half expected him to jump up and scare her if she approached him. One of his practical jokes.

He would have looked peaceful, if it wasn't for the unnatural stillness that settled through him. Nate was never still. He was energy and passion and excitement, always moving, always thinking. The stab of pain flared. She could imagine him, now, rolling his eyes in good humour as he chided her.

_Stop being so macabre._

She remembered, at the end of their first deployment as a squad, one of their friends hadn't made it. A good man with a good heart, too brash and  trigger happy for his own good. They brought him home. Buried him. It had felt so horrible, so _real._ She had never experienced death until then. She struggled with the funeral, but at the wake after, they had shared stories, memories of the man, of each other and for the first time since they returned, he had never felt so alive. It comforted her. He was there, in the background, lighting up their memories. Nate was no different.

 _C'mon, sweetie,_ Nate would've laughed. _Enough about that. You're living the dream! Or well, the nightmare they had always told us would happen. It doesn't seem so bad. You're surviving._

"Barely." Nora snorted into the empty room.

 _Look._ Nate would've responded, using that stern Dad voice he had spent her pregnancy perfecting. _If anyone could do this, it's you. You're not doing so bad out there. What's been happening? You can't have been moping about after little old me all this time, have you?_

She grinned at the thought. Looking back, the past weeks had certainly been enough to fill a story book or two.

"Y'know, the future's not all that... _futurey._ At least, not like we were told. You'd be surprised at how similar everything is, actually. I've still got Cods waiting on me, hand and foot." Her smile tinged with sadness. "He misses you. I made some new friends, too. Preston, _God_ ," She sighed, wistful. "He's just like Jonesy, remember him? Royal pain in the ass but his hearts in the right place. Hancock, you would love to go for a beer or six with him." She couldn't help a teasing smirk, "He's a bigger bullshitter than you when he sets his mind to it."

She continued to reel off her list of new friends, surprising herself with just how many she had made. Along with Preston and Hancock, there was Piper and Nat, Curie and the rest of Vault 81, Danse and his scribes, Deacon and the Railroad...

"So there are these creatures called _Super Mutants-_ long story," Nora waved a hand dismissively. "But there's this one in particular, Strong. He's friendly enough, in his own special way," Her nose scrunched up, "But he keeps trying to feed me raw meat. I-I guess I should take it as a compliment?" Her frown however said otherwise. "And the poor thing. He keeps going on about finding this milk of human kindness. _Gods,_ I just don't have the heart to break it to him...Oh!" She perked up again, "I found a new dog! Turns out that puppy palace you built  in the back yard was made to last, Dogmeat loves it. It's the first thing he bolts to when we return home, every time without fail." She gave another contented sigh, her muscles relaxing as her mind drifted. Familiar images began floating to her. A nervousness bubbled within her as she continued regaling Nate with her new life.

"I met someone. You'd like her. Strong. Mouthy. Red head. You thought I was ripped back in Boot? Sweetie, you could do body shots in the divots of her abs." Her mischievous grin softened.

" I like her. She's been helping me, getting used to the Common Wealth. Oh yeah," She chuckled "It's _The Common Wealth_ now, half these kids just look at me funny when I say Boston. And you might like to know that people have finally achieved your dream of _actually_ living inside Fenway. And the parking is _great_ now."

"But..." Her thoughts sobered slightly. "Cait. Yeah. She reminds me of you in a lot of ways. She's fierce. A true fighter." She shrugged, smiling. "Literally _and_ metaphorically. And she's... _kind._ " She paused, before nodding. "She'd kick seven shades of shit out of you if you ever said it in front of her, but she's got a good heart. She cares. Looks after her own." She frowned, feeling a duller but no less prevalent pain seep through her. "I don't think she has much to call her own, though. _Not,"_ She hurried to continue " _that she's poor or anything._ Just that," She sighed. "When we first met, I didn't think she was much of a people person. But the more we travelled together, the more I think she just didn't have any reason to be. I mean, every person in her life has been a complete _asshole,"_ A righteous anger flared within her. "And despite everything," she went on, forcing herself to calm. "She's still out there, swingin' away, not taking _no_ for an answer. _Good lord,_ her spirit- it's just _phenomenal_."

 _Giiirrrll,_ She heard Nate's teasing tone. _You got it baaaad._

"Shut up," she groaned, letting her head fall back on the door of her own pod. "I like her, I- oh god." Her head snapped back up, frowning. The fog of confusion that had been growing around her lately cleared. _"I really do."_

She had felt this way with a woman once before. In her final year of High School, there had been someone, a few years older. She worked at the local recruitment centre, had been beautiful and friendly and quite frankly, turned Nora into a big ol' pile of jelly when she smiled and waved at the teen on her walk to school every morning. But the thing that had tipped her from casual crush to full blown hero worship was, that on top of everything else, _she had a girlfriend._ Nora didn't even think you could do that.

So when she went home to Momma, asking her about it, she was confused to find out you couldn't.

_But they do, Momma._

_Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. It's un American, sweet pea._

No. They were at war after all. And as any patriotic citizen it was her duty to find a nice boy and make lots of nice children to fight the good fight.

_That's what the Commies want, sweet pea, for you to stop making babies, get loaded down with all that sin and make America crumble from the inside. You don't want that, do you?_

There were lots of dumb, ignorant people in the world, but Momma wasn't one of them. She was smart and kind and never ever wrong. Especially when she came home from school the next day to find five pamphlets on her bed all telling her the same thing and agreeing with Momma.

Still, if Momma wasn't persuasive enough, the whispers of what happened to people who did that sort of thing were. Not long after she had mentioned the ladies to her Momma, they had disappeared from the Recruitment office. They had bought a farm out west, or something, she remembered Papa telling her. She wasn't stupid, but she knew better than to question it further.

Her heart sank at the memories.

The looks her parents gave her when she told she had joined the military.

Of relief as she introduced them to Nate.

_Oh sweet pea. We thought we'd lost you when you joined the Corp. but He rewarded you with a good boy, baby._

It had been a relief, when she had drunkenly confessed to Nate her secret, only for him to meet her with acceptance. No fear, no masked warnings. They had gone out to a bar not long after and had made a game of appreciating the women there.

"But out here, Nate? It doesn't matter." She murmured. "There are more important things to worry about than who sticks what where. And I like her, I really do." She took a deep breath, trying her best to objectively examine her emotions. "I don't know if I can bring myself to... _tell her._ But I want to." She nodded to herself before turning her gaze back on Nate's pod. "I'm going to work on it. I'm gonna try."

 

* * *

 

 

She jogged up the hill, ducking and dashing between fallen logs. Why, she wasn't really sure, but she felt compelled to keep a low profile as she approached, as if encroaching on restricted area.

Reaching the crest of the knoll, Cait took in the scene in front of her. The Vault entrance certainly looked untouched in its 200 years, with debris and remnants of barricades and army equipment rusting away in the afternoon sun. The only thing that seemed out of place, however, was an imposing pile of wood and kindling, arranged neatly in what looked to Cait a macabre  pyre. Her gut squirmed.

Slipping through what used to be a gate, the Pit Fighter had to stop herself from stepping on the large circular entrance to the Vault, or at least, the large crater where it would have been. Edging carefully to the hole's lip, she glanced down. Cait had never been good with measurements. It could've been fifty feet, or a hundred. All she knew was she could barely see the light from lamps below, which translated to a very adequate _too fuckin' deep, thank you very much._ The gap made her dizzy and that was as much as she needed to know. She wiped sweating palms on her trousers.

 _You realise there is only one place Nora will be, yeah?_ She sighed. _Of course. And it's not going to be the shitey shed ten feet away, an' she's hiding to give me a fucker of a fright?_ Allowing her eyes to scan the rim, she quickly found the emergency ladder, allowing her safe passage to the bottom. Walking round the chasm, Cait edged herself carefully onto the ladder, making a conscious effort to steady her breath, repeating her mantra of _don't look down, don't look down, don't look fuckin' down..._

It wasn't that Cait was _scared_ of heights, as such. _No,_ she argued, _But there's a difference between fearin' heights and jumpin' into the kind of pits Grelok the Destroyer liked to dangle Gragnok over._

Clearing her mind as best she could, keeping her eyes securely on the rivets directly in front of her, Cait made quick work of her descent, refusing to look up once she reached the bottom. She'd spent her life in cages, she didn't need the reminder she was stepping into another one. She hurried deeper into the tunnel system, wanting this whole endeavour to be over.

 

* * *

 

 

It was simple, really, to find Nora. All Cait needed to do was follow the trail of radroach carcasses and opened doors. She continued in silence, creeping along the corridors. Normally she was never one for stealth and nor was she particularly superstitious, but Cait could not shake the feeling of the ghosts of the past surrounding her as she continued through the Mass Grave, calling it for what it was.

Her ears perked up at the sound of conversation in the distance, rattling through the abandoned walkways, guiding her. The chill of the place deepened as she crept into the final chamber, a long room. A small wave of relief washed over her as she recognised Nora's figure, sitting at the opposite end of the room, her voice gentle and light.

"-But I want to. I'm going to work on it. I'm gonna try."

"What're ya tryin'," she spoke, announcing her presence, "Apart from me patience, obviously."

Nora let out an uncharacteristic yelp, launching a foot in the air before scrambling back, her eyes wild as they searched for Cait in the darkness. Landing on her arse, it took several seconds of heavy breathing and chest clutching before Nora let out a faint huff of laughter.

" _Fuck me,_ Cait. I need to put a bell on you or something. _Shit."_

Cait snorted lightly, approaching her friend, extending a hand and helping Nora to her feet.

"Sorry," she said with a grin in a way that suggested she wasn't. "Didn't want t'interrupt your conversation. Who were ye speakin' to?"

"Oh," Nora blushed, wiping down the bottom half of her suit, sheepish. "I guess I should introduce you. Cait, meet Nathan, my husband. Nate to anyone who knows him." Raising a single eyebrow, Cait glanced over to the pod on the opposite wall. Encased in the porthole, she saw a man she had grown to know over the past several days, his face and features identical to what had been shown in the Memory Den.

"Alright?" Cait greeted him with a nod of her head. "Heard a lot about you." Her gaze returned to Nora, concerned. "How about you? How you keepin'?"

Nora looked pained for a moment, her eyes darting every way but Cait's, unable to meet her friend's gaze as she flustered, struggling to find her words.

" _Look,_ I- This is going to sound crazy, but I _can't_ just leave him down here. Not while I'm up there..." she motioned erratically with her hands "... _gallivanting_ about. I just- He-" She struggled, panicked tears welling in her eyes. Her heart aching for her friend, Cait took grasp of Nora's arms, holding her firm, forcing the Vaultie to meet her eyes.

"Nora, you don't need to explain yourself. Not to me an' certainly not to any fucker else. Okay?"

There was a moment before Nora returned Cait's nod, swallowing.

"O-Okay. I'm sorry. It's just, when I woke up, the pod's were failing, sealed shut from the outside. I tried to get Nate out, but the door wouldn't-"

"Hey. _You don't need to explain._ " Cait frowned, serious.

"But I want to, Cait." Nora calmed her with a small smile and Cait felt her grip soften to something more comforting. " I was weak, disoriented. I couldn't get Nate's pod open, no matter how much I tried. I hated leaving him in there but I knew I couldn't stay." She gave an embarrassed shrug. "It's been eating away at the back of mind since I left the Vault. Didn't know what I could do to get it open. Until yesterday, when we found the Power Armour."

Cait glanced up at the empty suit, then to Nate's pod, nodding.

"So you can finally put him to rest?"

Nora winced.

"You saw the pile outside?"

Cait nodded, shrugging, her face still unusually pensive. "I get it, Nora. I do." She gave a small huff of laughter. "Was just worried when I woke up and no one knew where ye where. You could've told me."

"Sorry," Nora muttered again, head bowing. "Don't think I had my head screwed on this morning." Another shrug. "Didn't think anyone would miss me."

"What?" Cait looked at her friend, bewildered. "Even Nanny-Bot McPhee was worried about ye. Look, no point apologisin'. What's done is done. You're safe," She gave Nora a comforting pat. "It's not like anybody's-" She grimaced, only realising her words as they left her mouth "- _died._ Oh god, I didn't-"

"Don't sweat it," Nora gave a small snort. "Honestly, Nate would've laughed at that. You would'a liked him."

Thankful she hadn't hurt her friend, Cait gave a chastened smile before glancing at the chamber around her. The sooner they got out of here, the better.

"So, you needin' a hand with anythin'?"

"Mhmm?" Nora responded, taking a second to register the question. "Oh, no. I was just saying goodbye before, Y'know, I got things started."

Nodding, Cait watched in silence as her friend stepped into the Power Armour, booting it up before approaching the pod door. Taking a moment to examine it, Nora clasped the door at either side, Carefully wrenching the metal up and to the side, trying her best to warp the hinges.

Running out of leverage, Nora left the door attached, but with a sizeable hole giving access to Nate. She approached him several times, only to back off, a look of consternation on her face.

Cait stepped up to the pod, silently appealing for any assistance. Nora glanced at her, glassy eyed and embarrassed as she tried to keep tight control of her emotions.

"Could you, maybe?" She motioned to Nate with the cumbersome size of her Armour. Understanding, Cait gave a small nod.

Leaning into the pod, Cait slid an arm around Nate's torso, slinging his body over her shoulder as she took the brunt of his weight.

"C'mon, mate, let's get you up."

Gently hoisting him out the pod, Cait was struck by the man's sheer dead weight. She had handled bodies before, in other circumstances, but there was something about Nate's unresponsiveness that left her feeling especially queasy. His head lulled, nudging Cait's cheek gently and she struggled to keep her expression neutral. She didn't want Nora feeling anymore shite than she already was. Ice radiated through his being _. Something that looked so alive should not feel this cold_. The unnatural stillness of death threatened to overpower her senses. Thankfully, Nora had approached the pair and carefully, Cait laid Nora's husband into her waiting arms.

Finally free of the weight and the cold, Cait failed to suppress a shudder. Eyes darting up to her companion, she was relieved to see that Nora hadn't registered it, instead transfixed on Nate's face, peaceful despite the bloom of red that painted his chest. She watched the delicate expression play out on Nora's face and felt a similar crackle of pain dance through her chest. Never one for hugging, Cait had to fight the overwhelming urge to throw Nate to the ground and gather Nora up in her arms, and offer...

 _Yeah,_ the voice in her head scoffed. _And what the fuck can you offer? Cuddles? Tea? A fuckin' smile? Really? You broken piece of shite. Just fuck off back to the cesspool you came from. She doesn't deserve this. Doesn't' deserve you._

Nora glanced back up to Cait, taking the Pit fighter out of her reverie with a small smile, fragile but genuine. She nodded to the exit.

"C'mon."

 

* * *

 

 

No more was said on the ascent to the surface, only the low groan of elevator gears breaking the silence. Cait swallowed as sunlight crested over the lip of the entrance, warming her almost instantly. It had perhaps been half an hour since she dropped down, but it felt as if she would never feel heat on her skin again.

The elevator came to a shuddering halt, Nora immediately making her way toward the pyre. Suddenly feeling seven shades of awkward all over again, Cait paced for a while, distracting herself with every little thing possible before joining Nora, who had covered Nate's body in cloth, leaving only his shoulders and head exposed. She was bent over, whispering something to the body, stroking at his hair with a gentleness she had never seen from her friend before.

Without a word, - _because, fuck, what do you say to this? -_ she watched as, with one last kiss to the forehead, Nora brought the sheet up and over Nate's face, before making her way each corner of the pyre, lighting them in succession. Shaking, she came to stand beside Cait, her eyes transfixed on the growing flames.

"Sorry," She murmured finally, apologetic. Her eyes flickered up to Cait, a small smile attempting to flitter across her lips. "You don't have to stay. I'll be fine."

"Away an' shite." Cait returned, softer than her words implied, pleased as Nora's smile fluttered into  a grin, if only for a moment. "I want to be here, Nora. Would 'a came up with you this mornin' if you'd asked."

Nora's gaze dropped, a small sigh escaping her.

"I know you would have. Thank you, all the same."

Cait's eyes lingered over her friend, grimacing as she noticed shaking hands and a light rattle threatening Nora's core. She nudged her, guiding the Vaultie over to a pair of nearby chairs, only taking her seat once Nora was safe in her own.

She returned her gaze to the fire, eyes flitting back to Nora intermittently. She couldn't help but stare as the Vaultie produced a silver ring, rolling it in her fingers. Cait's gaze followed as a quivering hand travelled up to the neck of Nora's vault suit, producing a light chain and matching band. Her question formed in her throat and was out her mouth before she could register it.

"Why don't you wear 'em?" She queried softly, nodding to the rings. "On yer fingers, like?"

Nora's cheeks flushed, embarrassed and being caught. She gave a small shrug.

"Didn't want anyone knowing-" she swallowed thickly and Cait didn't miss the glassiness in her eyes. She gave a mirthless chuckle. "Didn't want the reminder." She gave a miserable grimace. "Didn't want to admit... _everything._ " Nora's eyes drifted back up to the pyre. "But I kept... _seeing_ him everywhere. In the corner of my eye, just out of view, or... or..." She shook her head, shuddering. Fighting her own discomfort, Cait placed a hand on her friend's knee. Glancing down at it, Nora relaxed ever so slightly. She sighed, rubbing at her face as she leant back, head tilted to the sky.

"It's just... everywhere in the Common Wealth, I'll be talking to someone and they'll do this _thing._ A laugh, a frown, pull some kind of face and it's like _he's staring at me._ An'-An' I freeze up." She scowled, as if wanting to say something more. She resigned herself with a small shake of the head.

"All the time, I keep thinking of him down there and I couldn't do anything about it. Until yesterday."

She lapsed into silence once more. Cait continued to watch her friend, desperate to say something, anything to try and comfort the woman but words simply refused to materialise.

"Y'know, we talked about this before." She gave a small huff of laughter. "Serving in the army, during a war, these kind of conversations tended to crop up. Thought we prepared for it. After Anchorage, thought I'd be ready." A sigh. "Didn't expect it to happen like this."

"Honestly," Nora shook her head. "If he could see me now- moping like this-"

" _Nora_ ," Cait cut through, a small frown painting her brow. "You're allowed to grieve, for fuck's sake."

"I know," Nora snorted, easing Cait's worries with a look. "I've been doing that for the past month. But now, I can put him," she nodded towards the pyre "to rest. I can move on."

Cait opened her mouth in question, but Nora cut her off with a glance.

"It's not- please don't think I'm being callous, Cait. Really." Her gaze returned to Nate's body, indistinguishable amongst the flames and Cait was relieved to see the return of the quiet strength she had come to relate with Nora in the woman's features. "It was part of our training; dealing with bereavement and grief. Nate and I, especially once we started seeing each other, spent hours talking about it, discussing it. And then Shaun was born and we talked about it some more. We were always clear on never holding one another back. We had to go on, strong as ever. For each other, for Shaun."

Cait studied Nora's features as the Vaultie bowed her head and remained quiet as the woman allowed herself silent tears. Her heart cracked as she continued to watch silently as Nora's back shuddered in barely restrained sobs.

Her eyes returned to the blaze, if for nothing more than to give Nora some modicum of privacy. She had never put much thought in the life or death of others. She'd killed before, yes, but she had never laid anyone to rest. A month ago, if someone had told her she'd be helping a widow burn her husband's body in order to grieve and comfort, as an act of love- not out of spite or destruction of evidence, Cait would have spat in their face and bottled their skull.

 _Well of course you would,_ that venomous little voice piped up, _you've never had someone to care for like that. You wouldn't understand. And no, torching your parents house with them still inside doesn't count._

Her nose wrinkled in disgust at the voice, willing for it to quiet. She couldn't argue with it, however. She'd only had herself to rely on, to trust ever since she could remember. The closest she had come to any kind of confidant had been Tommy back at the Combat Zone, and they were both patently aware they were nothing more than each other's meal ticket.

Her eyes drifted back to Nora, unable to stay away from her friend for long. A sharp intake of breath surprised Cait as a fire bloomed within her heart.

Nora was different. The woman had been nothing but kind since meeting her, looking out for her. _Treatin' me like a goddamn fuckin' person._ The Vaultie had never wanted anything in return, except companionship. Even then, Cait was always welcome to walk away.

Something kept Cait around, however, and the Pit Fighter struggled to pin point the prickle of fear that rose up at the mere thought of leaving. That same prickle that flared this morning with Nora nowhere to be found. The prickle mellowed into a dull pain that spread through her chest at the idea of leaving. She sneered at herself inwardly. For someone who had given up on any redemption for humanity, who dreamed of the strength to pick up her shotgun one last time _and end it_ , now couldn't picture herself without her companion.

The growing dread quickly warped into a furious anger as she contemplated someone hurting Nora, trying to take her away. _I'd never let that happen. I'd rip the fuckers arms off and beat him across the head before he even had the chance._ And even if something did happen- _which it fucking won't -_ Cait would certainly never let anyone desecrate what was left of her friend. She would make sure Nora found peace in whatever form it took.

Her breath caught, eyes widening as she continued to study the Vaultie. A completely different kind of fear seeped through her as she realised that _Yes._ She could understand Nora and her pain. She did have someone to care about like that. _Maybe even someone who cared like that back._ A protective anger roared within her. She wouldn't let anything happen to Nora. She wouldn't let Nora feel this pain again.

"Of course it hurts." Nora spoke and Cait startled, wondering if the woman had been listening her thoughts. Thankfully, her eyes were still glued to the pyre. "It always will. Nothing's going to change that." Cait watched in silence as  Nora sat straight, harshly rubbing away the tear tracks on her cheeks, leaving her skin a blotchy red. "But I've cried my tears. No doubt I'll cry them again in the future, but right now I have a job to do. For Nate. For Shaun. For myself." She stood up and Cait watched her, proud at the strength and confidence her friend continued to exude, a fresh layer of understanding falling over Cait. Nora looked down to her, eyes still illuminated with that same kind courage she'd had since meeting the Vaultie back at the Combat Zone. "C'mere."

Nora motioned with her head, compelling Cait to follow her to the edge of the rock face, Sanctuary Hills bustling quietly below them, with Boston proper away in the distance. "See that?" She motioned down to the settlement, to the life that tinkled about inside it, the dilapidated buildings patched up with wood and steel, makeshift shacks slowly growing into something stronger. More permanent.

"This was my home. It still _is_ my home. And the thing that makes it that are the people down there. Sure the faces have changed, but you'd be surprised how much stays the same." She paused for a second, throwing Cait an appraising look, making the Pit Fighter blush. "You did that."

"What!?" Cait scoffed. "Like fuck I did, that was all you."

"I put things together, but who was constantly beside me, grumbling away about _helpin' these feckers with their stupid li'l problems?_ I'll give you a clue. Begins with _Cay_ and ends in _ait._ "

"Yeah. Well, I'm right, ain't I?" Cait bristled playfully. "You an' your bleedin' heart helpin' anyone who gives you the petted lip." Nora could only chuckle.

" _My bleeding heart_ isn't the only reason I did this, Y'know? I mean, it _is_ the right thing to do, both ethically and morally, of course-" Cait interrupted with a soft snort. Nora only smiled before continuing. "But I do have a plan behind it. You know what happens when we go help one of Preston's settlements?"

"We go an' clean their shite up 'cause they don't want to before movin' on to the next nappy that needs changin'?"

Nora gave a good humoured sigh.

"We rescue these people, show them that these big scary Raiders, or Ghouls or whatever aren't the nightmare horror stories everyone tells. We show them that they can be beaten. We provide safety and give them confidence. We enable them to begin better protecting themselves. I leave a few notes, instructions and suggestions that would help improve their defences and get the ball rolling for them. They in turn are grateful for our services and next time we show up, their happy to have us. People are talking Cait. You've heard Diamond City Radio. The Common Wealth loves us."

"Yeah, but," Cait squirmed slightly, wanting to explain herself. "I just.. don't want you gettin' ... _distracted_ Y'know. You need to look after yourself  an' yours before goin' off to  look after others." She had tried to soften the meaning behind her words as much as possible, but still hated herself for the pained expression that fell over Nora.

"Shaun's still out there, Cait. _I know._ I haven't forgot." Nora responded, her voice firm and Cait couldn't help but wince. "But I can't just go charging after the bastards responsible. Whoever took him was capable of breaking into a sealed Vault and hacking its systems. Hell, I don't even have a lead on the fuckers right now." She gave a weary sigh. Glancing back towards Cait, the Pit Fighter was relieved to see no anger in her friend's face, only a strong resolve and calculating expression.

"But if there is one thing I've learned about this place, it's that everybody's got an agenda. I've met the Railroad, The Brotherhood, hell even the Minutemen and I'm going to go out on a limb and say the Institute are probably the same. They all like me because I provide something, I get results for 'em. I'm useful. The settlers across Boston are the same all because we've built up good will with them. We've helped them. I don't want anything in return because I don't need anything. Yet."

Cait grew queasy at the word. Nora continued to gaze at her, eyes pleading with Cait to understand.

"If I'm going to challenge these bastards that stole my son and killed my husband, I need to go in knowing I can crush the fuckers. Now I don't know what I'm up against, but if there's one thing Service for my Country taught me, it's that it never hurts to have an army ready to go in your back pocket."

"So," Cait responded, unsteady. She did not like where the conversation was headed. "You're plans involve coercing the Common Wealth into going to war with you?"

"No," Nora spoke softly, a resigned sigh escaping her. "My plan is to show people I'm worth fighting for. Show 'em they can trust me. That I do things for the right reason. That's why I spoke to Piper, got my story in the paper. So people see." Glancing back down towards the settlement, Nora waved at a group of children playing with Dog Meat, who happily shouted and waved back with gusto. She chuckled. "What my old CO would call a _charm offensive._ I'm getting my son back. And if we happen to make the Common Wealth a better place along the way," She grinned. " _Oops."_

Cait snorted back a laugh of her own, her tensions easing slightly. The pair lapsed into a comfortable silence, turning back to watch the Pyre dwindling, now mostly a mess of black ash and charcoal.

"What I've been meaning to say is," Nora forced out, and Cait had to smile at how bashful the woman looked as she struggled to find her words, a hand coming up to ruffle through her hair. " _Thank you_ , Cait. None of this would be possible without you."

Cait frowned, confused.

"Forgive me if I refuse t'believe that."

"It's true. I don't think you realise how close I was to just losing it when we met. I was still in shock, about Nate, about Shaun, about _being 200 years in the fucking future._ I wanted to end it. Or at least, have someone end it for me." Their eyes met, and Cait found herself unnerved by the familiar darkness that had taken residence in her friend's eyes. "Why else d'you think I walked into a theatre teeming with angry, pissed up Raiders. I wanted a fight. Wanted one of them to finally put a fucking bullet through my brain."

"And then I met you," She said simply, expression mellowing. "You're a survivor, Cait. You kept fighting. Never gave up. And I looked at myself, and thought, _why should I?_ You inspired me to keep fighting. To get my head out my ass and start doing something. You saved me." She shrugged, as if everything was that simple. Cait blushed, a whole new kind of discomfort flowing through her. She wasn't used to this.

"And you kept me grounded and stopped me from being stupid. _A lot._ So, yeah. _Thank you_."

 _Guilty._ Cait decided on. She felt guilty. Guilty that she had done nothing out of the ordinary for this woman, who had saved her from self imposed slavery, gave her a life outside that fucking theatre and finally gave her meaning and a reason for existing outside of her next hit, and _she_ was thanking _Cait_ for the pleasure. It felt wrong.

But she knew better than to argue with Nora, especially when she had _that_ look in her eyes, so Cait blushed, averting her gaze to the dying pyre and muttered a mumbled _Any time._

The pair lapsed into silence once more. With the fire's heat diminishing, they approached the pile of ash. The brittle remnants of a skeleton remained, but at least now it was not distinguishably Nate. Bending to place a single flower in the centre, Nora stood back, alongside Cait.

"I'll find our boy, Nate. I promise."

Acting on instinct she didn't realise she possessed, Cait gently took hold of the Vaultie's hand, prompting the woman to glance up at her and offered Nora a soft smile, pleased to see it returned.

"Hey. We both will."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers - I know brown hair and eyes aren't exactly uncommon but 90% of Synths have those phenotypes. Also I know the common thought that technically SS is something of a genetic grandparent to Synths, but if all their DNA was just blended from Shaun's and no other participant, surely that would make them on par with your children? For example, we know Sturges, Magnolia, Curie, Danse (hell even Harkness) amongst others are Gen 3's, and they all arguably have a passing resemblence to SS (more so the non customised one). Sure you could put it down to the game engine making the characters kinda look the same, but I think having a canon reason is more fun.
> 
> What I'm getting at is that is must be super freaky going about your post apocalyptic business and seeing glimpses of your recently dead spouse smiling back at you. It'd certainly twist my melon.


End file.
